If you are not disabled, DON’T park in a parking space for the disabled!

What the hell is this world coming to?! I don’t understand some of you dumbass drivers nowadays, especially those fucking morons aged between 20 to 30! Wanna know why? Because they are too stupid to read the sign which says "Parking for the disabled ONLY"! Which part of the word ‘only’ don’t you dumb fucks understand?

This incidents happen most commonly in the parking lots of shopping complexes during weekends, where it is packed. Some dumb shits are just too much of a dumbass to wait for a proper parking space, that they park in the parking slots for the disabled! You inconsiderate pieces of compressed pig shits! Have you people ever thought of how difficult it is for the physically disabled to find a parking slot if you have taken their spot?! Of course not! All you assholes think about is yourselves!

But then again….. I really can’t blame some of you, can I? I mean, I know some of you have some ‘not so obvious’ disabilities. I mean… some of you are so damn stupid and inconsiderate! That’s a disability! Of some of you have a slight numbness in your pinky(that’s the smallest finger on your hand, in case you don’t know) since birth, making it useless! That’s sort of a disability too! BUT THEY DO NOT COUNT, ASSHOLE! Jeez, I hate you people! What are your disabilities compared to those who have to walk with crutches?! And what makes your small disability so important that you have to take the parking space of a person who have lost an eye, and have visual problems?! These people wanna live like any of us, and you inconsiderate cocks are taking away their rights to do so! Oh, and for men, being disabled between the legs doesn’t qualify you as a disabled person, you dumbass! SO, DON’T take the parking lots for the disabled, you fools! They should have a sign at every parking lot for the disabled, like the one below:

THIS SHOULD KEEP YOU DUMB ASSHOLES FROM TAKING THE PARKING LOTS OF THE DISABLED!

Man, I hate morons!

And remember! Being disabled between the legs DOES NOT qualify you as disabled, moron!

Spells and Tarot Cards are for MORONS!

I was in this bookstore the other day, doing some browsing, when I upon the ‘NEW AGE’ section. There were many decks of Tarot Cards as well as "spell" books on display. For some unknown bullshit reason, I bothered picking up one of the "spell" books, and read it. In the book, was the most illogical crock of shit I have ever read! The first "spell" in the book got me muttering curse spells at it! Then, I placed the "spell" book down, and turned to the tarot cards, hoping that they would be more interesting compared to that crappy book. But once again, I was disappointed by the crappy decks, which were all individually packed in sealed boxes, with no information about the deck, and priced at a minimum of a hundred bucks!!! WHAT THE HELL???!!!!

Let me get this straight! They charge people a hundred bucks for a deck of low-quality, poorly-illustrated, mass-printed deck of hard paper?! What a bloody rip-off! I’ve seen fucking crayon scribbles that look better than the illustrations on those tarot cards. What amuses me further is the fact that people could "predict the future" using tarot cards. That is just so stupid! Tarot cards are the crappiest deck of shit ever used on Earth! Just how exactly the hell are you supposed to predict the future using a deck of children’s drawings?! Tarot cards should be printed with alphabets and numbers so that we could use them to teach the young ones their ABC’s and 123’s!

Well….. Since some of you claim to be able to predict the future using some printed, crayon-smeared ass wipe, I’ll show you my personal card which I picked out, and you tell me my future, dammit!

AHAH!!! BET YOU DIDN’T PREDICT THAT COMING, DID YOU? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THIS CARD MEANS? HERE’S THE FULL EXPLANATION!

"The bearer of this card will tell all people who believe in tarot cards to go fuck themselves! The card bearer will also make these people realize what dipshits they have been to think that cheap ass, crayon-coloured postcards (also known as tarot cards) can be used to predict the future, while they couldn’t even predict that they’ll be seeing the legendary tarot, ‘THE FINGER’!"

I’m sure I have made my "prediction" clear enough! What sort of moron would take tarot cards seriously?! Are they too much of dipshits to not know that tarot cards are just like any ABC cards you find at the toddler department?! Well, Tarot cards aren’t exactly useless….. I know what can be done with tarot cards. WIPE YOUR ASS WITH THEM! Since these bloody cards are laminated in a thin layer of crappy plastic, you can wipe your ass, wash them, and then use them again! What a great way to help protect the environment! That way, less trees will be chopped down to make those expensive, five ply toilet paper which people use to rub their assholes with! One deck of cards could last up to a year or more, being used as ass wipes for a family. Now isn’t that economical? Compared to the expenses used on toilet paper in a year for a single family, which amounts to about 200 bucks, tarot cards only cost about a hundred bucks for a deck of 55 cards! Now that’s quality ass cleaning!

Another deck of stupid shit caught my eye when i was browsing the other day. It is called ‘The Tarot Of Love‘! Now that’s a steaming pile of bullshit! What the hell is wrong with people nowadays?! Are people nowadays too shitty, that they have to rely on a pack of ass wipes to determine the love of their lives?! Are they too much of a dipshit to go up to the one they are interested in, and confess their true feelings? But NO! They are just too bloody gutless! They rely on a pack of cards to determine their "chances" with that special someone. REALITY CHECK, you damn morons! A pack of cards CAN’T tell you about your chances and future between you and the one you love! Even worse, the tarot of love is more expensive compared to a regular deck of useless tarot cards! It costs about 180 bucks to buy! For that amount of money, you could get that special someone a very nice gift, resulting in a growth of affection from that person to you! But some of you still believe in the tarot of love, thinking that a stupid deck of laminated paper can change your love life for the better….. Well, NO! IT CAN’T, DIPSHIT!

Okay, on to the second shittiest thing after tarot cards, Spell books! Remember that spell book I picked up and read? The first spell is the dumbest thing I’ve read. "How to make your goals come true"! I’ll take the trouble to write down that "spell"!

Things you need: A green candle, paper, envelope, a small box with a lid, matches

Instructions:

1) Light the candle

2) Fold the paper in half

3) on the left side of the paper, under the light of the candle, write down all your wishes

4) On the right side, write down all the goals you have failed to complete

5) Keep the paper in the envelope

6) Keep envelope in a box

7) Store the box in the cupboard for 2 MONTHS

The lid must not be opened in order for the spell to work

WHAT THE HELL?!!!! You have to keep your spell in a cupboard for 2 months in order for it to work?! What if the wish is sudden? What if the wish is for an unwelcome guest to leave?! Do I have to follow these bullshit guidelines, and wait for 2 months in order for the spell to take effect?! By that time, the unwelcome guest would have been long gone, asshole! Stupid spellbooks! In fact, I think the author of the spellbook should have renamed the book ‘How to add useless bullshit to your cupboard’!

Hmm…… Kinda think about it, if the shitty ass of a spell really does work, why didn’t the author use it to improve the sales of the book?! The author could have written something on the paper, like "I wish that everyone on Earth would become gullible fucks who would believe that the shit in my book is true, and buy it", and the wish would come true, right?! Or even better, the author could have wrote something like "I wish I was the ruler of the world!"…… But then again…… since the author is such a dumbass to write and publish such a worthless and shitty book, the author’s probably too fucking dumb to think of such a wish!

SPELL BOOKS ARE BULLSHIT! BOYCOTT SPELL BOOKS!!!!!!

Man, I hate morons!

POLO~ The mint with a *butt*hole in the middle

POLO! The mint with a hole in the middle! Man, what the hell is this world coming to? Some company makes a mint candy with a hole in the centre, and they charge you extra for it?!I mean, come on! It’s just a damn candy! Whatever shape you make it doesn’t change what it is! A damn piece of candy!

What the hell is the friggin’ hole in the middle for?! Is that hole enough for you to stick you to stick your fingers through?! In fact, it’s a bloody rip-off! A hole in the middle means less contents in a single damn candy! Damn… I think I’ll come up with my own products with holes in the middle! Here it goes!

JEANS-O! THE JEANS WITH A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE!

WATER-BOTTLE-O! THE WATER BOTTLE WITH A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE!

HP-O! THE MOBILE PHONE WITH A HOLE INSTEAD OF A SCREEN!

TV-O! THE TELEVISION WITH A HOLE LOT OF STUPID!

WATCH-O! THIS WATCH JUST GOT A ‘HOLE’ LOT USELESS!

DONKEY-O! THE ASS WITH A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE!

POLO mints are fine, but the holes are a real pain in the ass!

POLO MINTS ARE FINE! BOYCOTT THE HOLES!!!!!

Online surveys are stupid!

Have ya’ll seen those surveys they post on the bulletin board in friendster, or any other online community websites? Of course you have! They are so damn common nowadays! People post those damn surveys with all sorts of strange titles, like ‘I’m bored’! Okay, so let me get this straight….. you’re bored, and you create some "survey" on the bulletin board, which you know that 98% of your contacts will not read… If you are bored, why not start a bullshit blog like me?! Something that at least 5% of your contacts will bother giving a shot at!

To make matters worse, people don’t just post a single survey, they flood the bulletin board with multiple posts of the same survey! What the hell?! What pisses me further, is the fact that they post stupid questions like the following:

~ What was the last drink you had?

~ What time is it?

~ What’s the name of your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend?

~ What did you eat last night?

~ What are you doing now?

What the hell?! What are you doing now? Isn’t it obvious tht the reder is reading the survey, moron? And all those other questions…. Does anybody give a damn about what you last drank?! And who on Earth will bother doing the surveys?! What’s the name of your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend? Well guess what?

I seriously do not understand the point of these surveys. Hell… THESE AREN’T EVEN CONSIDERED SURVEYS! They are more like INTERROGATIONS! Jeez….. Don’t people know that surveys are meant to be about general topics? Surveys are used to find out about the frequency of people doing a specific activity, and not to find out about a person’s personnal life, dammit!!! And why do people bother reposting it with their own answers?! Isn’t that a violation of their own privacy???!!!

Since you people like posting rubbish surveys, I thought I’d come up with my own personnal bullshit "survey" as well! Here it goes:

1) When was the last time you took a shit?

2) Are you a pig?

3) How many times have you been castrated?

4) How many times do you fart in a day?

5) Who gave birth to you?

6) Who gave you your name?

7) What is the name of you great great great great great great great great great grandfather?

How many livers do you have?

9) How many grains of rice have you eaten in the last 2845 hours?

10) How many times have you read this survey before you noticed what a moron you are for posting irrelevant bullshit surveys that nobody gives a shit about?

Get my point now?! Man, I hate morons…….

The true philosophies in life

Man, I hate morons! Especially those who come up with stupid, irrelevant, chicken shit philosophies about life… Some bullshit examples that I’ve heard are:

~ People love lovable people.

~ When you hold your girlfriend, tickle her to make her laugh.

~ Hold the one you love close to you, and never let her/him go.

What the hell?! Tickle your girlfriend?! Girls nowadays will probably slap you for doing that, despite your "status" as her boyfriend! And hold the one you love close to you and never let her/him go?! What the hell are they trying to say? Are you supposed to hold ur loved one everywhere they go, and to never let go of them?! Even when they wanna take a shit?! MORONS! I created my own philosophies that are always correct!

~ Geek guys who love teletubbies will never get girlfriends, EVER!

~ There is a trend, where modern day girls think that getting an ugly, sick ass boyfriend is hip!

~ Love is eternal, as long as there is still balance in your bank account.

~ Do not take time off to enjoy the finer things in life. You’ll get fired!

~ Obese women must never wear tanktops! EVER!

~ Obese women must also NOT wear pants shorter than the level of the ankles! All that flabs and stuff are disgusting!

~ Constant two-faced people can all go to hell!

~ Don’t judge a book by it’s cover….. except when it comes to relationships and first impressions!

~ Love at first sight is bullshit.

~ Keep your hands on your partner’s waist when you kiss, and don’t let them wander, moron!

~ All the fanciest talk and appealling clothing in the world doesn’t change the fact that a moron is still a moron!

~ It’s not how much work you do… It’s how good it is that counts…

~ Unless you are a cute chic, nothing you have to say to guys is important.