If you’re diagnosed with ‘Fucking Moron’ positive, you should be quarantined… FOR LIFE!

I was at a showcase and autograph session about two weeks ago. It was really crowded. The whole area was filled with stupid youngsters (in their 20’s), adults, old people that try to feel young again by attending a showcase intended for the young, teenagers, and some small kids. Throughout the showcase, you wouldn’t believe the number of fucking morons that were prowling the area. I was so worried that I might catch the ‘fucking moron’ syndrome from anyone of the present morons. But then I remembered that I am immune to it!

Here is a list of the people at the showcase suffering from ‘fucking moron’, as diagnosed by Doctor Leon:

~ The dumbass host of the showcase

This bitch is not only a fucking moron. She’s a damned idiot as well! Before the showcase began, she cheered to the crowd with words like ‘Yeah’ and ‘Can you all hear me?’, thinking that people were actually there to see her talk shit. Even worse, when the showcase was about to begin, she told all the people who wanted to get autographs from the artists must queue up at the left side of the stage. That’s what most people did. BUT, at the beginning of the autograph session, she suddenly tells all the people to queue up at the right side of the stage instead. As I had a few small kids with me, I had to look after them, and could not rush to the other side to queue up. That made me and the kids fall back. As if that wasn’t enough of a tick off, the fucking bitch makes shitty comments about the crowd throughout the autograph session. Screw you, bitch! I’m suprised your parents even bothered bringing up a shit like you! Clearly a sufferer of ‘fucking moron’.

~ A damn ugly guy, whose face has more holes than the moon!

Another bearer of ‘fucking moron’ is this ugly guy who tried to squeeze in front of me when people were lining up before the showcase. This dipshit obviously doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘queue’. So what does he do? He tries to cut the line, of course. But I wasn’t gonna let a cocksucker like him take advantage of the situation. So, I stood my ground. After a while, the stupid fool gave up, and walked to the back of the line. Buzz off, asshole. The world could do with one asshole less!

~ Another damn ugly guy, who suprisingly has a girlfriend(who obviously does not love him, and most likely is another sufferer of ‘fucking moron’)

During the switch from the left side of the stage to the right, a guy thought he could push his way through thousands of people. And that’s what he did. pushing his way through a bloody crowded area with his butt-ugly whore….I mean….girlfriend. That stupid asshole was shoving his arms between people, and pushing his way through. And his shoving caused his elbow to hit the head of one of the kids that was with me. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! ARE YOU THAT FUCKING BLIND NOT TO BE ABLE TO SEE THAT THERE ARE KIDS THERE, THAT YOU CONTINUE PUSHING YOUR WAY THROUGH?! I hope he finds out something like his girlfriend being a guy, and she dumps him, and the next day, his penis shrivels up and falls off! But what can I say? His girlfriend and him are a match made in heaven…I mean….hell! Just look at them. They both look so fucking ugly! Imagine if they get married, have sex, wait 9 months, and have a kid? What the hell would the kid look like?! DAMN, MAN! The kid would probably look like something you pull out of a gorilla’s ass! Downright hideous!!!!!

~ Pussy gangsters that smoke, thinking that it makes them cool

During the autograph session, people stand together in a crowd before officially entering a queue. Well, when I was in the crowd, there was a bunch of youngsters in front of me. It’s already an eyesore just looking at those fucking retards. But then their brain tells them this: "Since I’m already a fucking moron anyways, why not push the limits, and be the father of all fucking morons?!". and they did just that. They started smoking cigarettes, in the middle of hundreds of people!!! Stupid idiots! If they wanted to smoke, that’s fine with me. BUT DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE, YOU WHIP CREAM COCKS! And then, there was this guy(salute to this guy) who advised the bunch not to smoke. And what do they do? One of those morons tried to pick a fight with the guy. If a fight really broke out, the moron would be fighting a losing battle, cause the guy is 2 times his size! Stupid morons nowadays don’t know when to smoke and when not to! And they think that it is charitable to share cigarette smoke with everybody at the present vacinity. Clear signs of ‘fucking moron’!

~ Nosey woman with no life

When I was standing in the crowd (the same one with the smoking idiots in it), there was this stupid bitch who has nothing better to do with her pathetic life while waiting for her turn to get into the queue. So what does she do? She looks over peoples’ shoulders at their mobile phones when they recieve an SMS. Dammit! Why has she got to look at other people’s messages? Doesn’t she know that other people deserve their privacy?! Why couldn’t she be doing something meaningful, like shooting herself? She has ‘fucking moron’ written all over her.

~ Everybody else in the crowd apart from my friends and relatives

Almost everybody else in the crowd is a fucking idiot! Why? Because they keep pushing, hoping to be able to squeeze in between people to get to the front, especially the late comers to the crowd. And by doing so, people at the centre of the crowd were pushed together, causing little space for them to even turn their bodies 20 degrees to the left or right! In fact, people were squeezing so badly, a woman passed out. The medics came, and the crowd had to make way for the medics to pass through to get to the woman. And what do fucking morons do? they trail the medics from the back, and managed to make their way to the front! If I ruled the world, they would have been sentenced to death. Decapitation using a steel butter knife! Even the blind could tell that these people are bearers of ‘fucking moron’!

~ The organizers of the event

The organizers of the showcase suffer from the most serious infections of the ‘fucking moron’ plague! In the crowd, me and the kids had to wait for 2 HOURS just to get into the queue. Things went on well at first, until the fucking organizer came up to the kids that were with me, and told them that they were not allowed to bring regular paper to be autographed! He says that only CDs will be autographed. Motherfucker! My sister had to escort the kids out of the queue area, after 2 FUCKING HOURS OF WAITING! Apparently, the organizers are so fucking dumb, that they do not know how to announce before the autograph session that only CDs will be autographed. As a result, you bloody motherfuckers made 3 kids wait for 2 whole hours only to be disappointed! The kids with me are really big fans of the band at the showcase! Not only were they unable to get an autograph, they couldn’t even meet their idols! You good for nothing assholes! Go ahead and masturbate to your sick pleasure, knowing that you have greatly disappointed 3 kids by by cutting off their once in a lifetime chance to meet their idols! I’m very sure that you bunch of shitty organizers have kids that treat you like shit! And you take it out on other people’s kids! BASTARDS! You guys are not only fucking morons, you are an ocean full of pig assholes as well! I hope you bunch of fucking organizers choke! To everyone working in the organizing firm reading this, NEVER follow what these bunch of organizers idiots did. EVER!

MEDICAL REPORT ON ‘FUCKING MORON’

It appears that ‘fucking moron’ is a very serious disease. It infects nearly 95% of the world’s population! Even more frightening, this percentage is RISING day by day! Dr. Leon has discovered two possible cures for this serious disease. The first method is a life-long quarantine of the patient, which was proven to be a less effective way. The second method is a use of a very potent remedy. The remedy is known as ‘Death Penalty’! By inducing this miracle cure, we can rid the world of this infectious disease!

FINALLY! A RIVALRY BETWEEN PREMIER SCHOOLS!

Dammit, man! I heard of rivalries, but this is fucking rediculous! Two of the "greatest" schools in Malaysia are rivaling each other to see which one of the school is the best. They are St. John’s Institution and Victorian Institution.

What the hell? Schools rivaling each other? I thought schools were meant to work with one another to improve the standards of studies and to improve the quality of the students it produces? But these two schools think otherwise…

Man, I hate these two schools! Not only do they have this ‘I must always be the best everytime, or my heart will stop beating’ attitude, but they produce arrogant bastards! I’ve met many of the students and ex-students from these schools who show these traits. They always think they are better than you. They think that they are always right. And when you manage to prove them wrong, what do they do? They start screaming, like a woman with a 50 year PMS! One word to describe them… SHAMELESS!

Anyways, back to the part about rivalry, these two schools take their rivalry to the extreme! They rival each other in academics, sports, participation in public activities, and even forming vendettas between students and gangs from the opposing school. Man, I hate people!

But then again, I’m not saying that all the students in these schools are complete morons. I have also met quite a number of civilised and mentally intelligent students from these schools. If you ask me, only students like these should be allowed into schools all over the world! A salute to these people!

Next, the prefects. All the prefects in these schools have a tendency of screaming at students, even if the offence is so small, it’s barely even an offence! WHAT THE FUCK?! Why the hell do they have to scream?! Haven’t they heard of a civilised conversation?! What better way to induce discipline than to scream at students for every little petty mistake they make, making every student hate the prefects? What the hell does it take to become a prefect in these schools? A 1000 level screaming course?!

THEIR WAY OF INDUCING DISCIPLINE SUCKS! JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER STUDENT IN THESE SCHOOLS (MINUS THE CIVILISED ONES)!

Are you a piece of shit? You might be! Take this test and find out!

In this test, you would need a calculator to add up the total Shittiness Points(SP) you have accumulated! Then, refer to the results to find out how much of a piece of shit you are. Read everything carefully, and add the points to those that apply to you. AND DO NOT CHEAT! Okay, here goes:

GIVE YOURSELF:

~ 10 SP if you are a lazy person. An extra 10 SP if you are VERY lazy.

~ 30 SP if you handle food without washing your hands.

~ 30 SP if you wear socks that don’t match.

~ 20 SP if you smoke.

~ 70 SP if your shoes don’t match.

~ 30 SP if you think drinking mineral water makes you cool!

~ 200 SP if you are gay or lesbian!

~ 80 SP if you dig your nose in public.

~ 3000 SP if you play with your own shit!!!

~ 90 SP if you pierce your nipples.

~ 150 SP if you stand outside your house and sing badly at the top of your voice in the middle of the night.

~ 250 SP if you are bisexual.

~ 250 SP if you gnaw off the chocolate coating of M&M’s, and save the peanuts for your cooking!

~ 1000 SP if you attend a party without being invited.

~ 3000 SP if you listen to shitty music at a public area without headphones.

~ 100,000 SP if you are this guy:

                         

~ 15,000 SP if you are a fan of this guy:

                         

~ 800 SP if you fart in public! Add another 800 SP if you fart in a public transport!

(THE NEXT 2 ARE FOR GUYS ONLY!)

~ 300 SP if you cut up a latex glove to make 5 separate condoms!

~ 1500 SP if you mistreat your girlfriend! An extra 1500 SP if you hit her!

(THE NEXT 3 ARE FOR GIRLS ONLY!)

~ 8000 SP if you were born a guy!

~ 1000 SP if you pubicly announce that your menstruation has began.

~ 3000 SP if you push the blame to your boyfriend everytime you make a mistake.

~ 3000 SP if you think tarot cards can predict your future.

~ 7000 SP if you are an able person that parks your vehicle in a parking lot for the disabled!

~ 10000 SP if you jump queues at any occasion!!!

~ 1000 SP if you drive recklessly.

~ 10000 SP if you are a fucking moron!

~ 10000 SP if you cheated in this test!

RESULTS:

0 - 5000 SP : You are a FUCKING LIAR!!! You know damn bloody well that nobody can get points as low as that!!!

5000 - 15000 SP : Hmm…. I guess the average human should get marks within this range…

15000 - 20000 SP : You are a steaming piece of shit! Anybody that gets SP this high deserves to be caned!

20000 - 30000 SP : You are not only a piece of shit, you are a fucking asshole as well! You’re the reason radio channels continue playing shitty music!

> 30000 SP : You are the biggest slab of shit on the face of earth! You sing ass crappy music, thinking millions of people enjoy it (in which they DON’T!)! You are made out of essense of shit! You are a pile of pure evil! Even Satan bows to you!

People didn’t know what a piece of shit they were until they took this test.

Chain letters and other irrelevant bullshit that people believe!

I dunno if it’s just me, or are people nowadays turning into gullible morons? Why do people believe in stupid chain letters? Even worse, people believe and follow those shitty, sexist, one-sided "advice" on how to be a better boyfriend/girlfriend! But worse of all, people post crap with shitty headings! I’ve seen a few horrible chain letters on the bulletin board with headings like ‘Must Read’, ‘This is interesting’, and ‘Funny’… Morons! Why the hell do you want others to read that chain letter?! What advantages do you get out of it?! If you people have nothing better to do but to flood the bulletin board with chain letters and bullshit, then my suggestion would be for you people to sit down with your thumb up your ass, moaning about your stupidity! Not many people favour chain letters, you know?! But obviously, people nowadays are too stupid to know that, and still continue sending crappy chain letters with ass crappy headings! Here are a few examples of the type of chain letters, along with a semi-brief explanation of the shittiness the letter contains!

CHAIN LETTERS

~ THE ’scary kid that appears to kill you if you don’t repost’ chain letter

Perhaps one of the most common chain letters… This chain letter claims that some child has died in a very gruesome way, and that the chain letter you are reading is cursed! It also claims that if you don’t repost that chain letter, that child will pay you a visit in the middle of the night and kill you… Well, in case you people it hasn’t occured to some of you pea brains out there, how can a bloody ONLINE object be cursed?! MORON!

~ The ‘bad luck/sex for many years if you don’t repost’ chain letter

Okay…. Another common chain letter! Only this time, it says that if one doesn’t repost the stupid crap, they will have bad luck or sex for 6 years or more. But, the chain letter also claims that if you do repost it, you will have good luck or sex for years! I can take all the mumbo-jumbo in those chain letters, and summarize them in to one simple word….. RUBBISH! How exactly is an online post suppose to give you good luck and sex? Are people nowadays too much of a shit bag that they have to rely on chain letters to give them good luck and sex? People should be making their own good luck, by taking the right opportunities in certain things, and to watch their every step. But, they prefer to believe in some stupid chain letter for luck, which in the end, will not come true anyways. And what about those people who repost those stupid chain letters, hoping for good sex? I have got to say that people like these are desperate. You have to ask yourself this question. If people are desperate enough to repost such a chain letter, are they too much of a dipshit to satisfy their partner and themselves sexually?! And frankly speaking, there should be laws against people who post shit like this crappy chain letter! Sex is supposed to be kept private, and here we have people, publicly announcing their wish for good sex by reposting those letters. Here’s a quote for you desperate people, courtesy of ME!

"iF YOU ARE TOO MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE TO MAKE YOUR OWN GOOD SEX, THEN DON’T EVEN BOTHER DOING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

NOTE: Do NOT ever ask me if I ever had sex in my life, ever! I have not! I’m only 18, and I ain’t as desperate as some of you losers out there, morons!!!

~ The ‘In Love With Someone’ chain letter

I get these chain letters every now and then. It’s basically a chain letter consisting of multiple short paragraphs. Each paragraph tells about a person’s(your) reaction when he/she is in love with someone, or in short, a shit load of NOTHING! Do people actually need a written piece of work to make them realize that they are in love? So I see… People nowadays are too much of dipshits to realize that they are in love. The ending of this chain letter is pretty "impressive", though. It goes like this: "Now, Repost this letter in 1 hour, and by midnight, the one you love will realize that they love you. Break this letter, and you will have bad luck in love for 10 years". If you ask me, This statement should have been like this: "Repost this, and you’re a stupid moron!". Seriously, how can a crappy piece of internet bullshit make another person fall in love with you when you repost the damn thing?! Let’s say three guys fall in love with the same girl, and each of them reposts the chain letter, is the girl going to fall in love with all three of them? And, like all other chain letters, there is always a bad side to it. 10 years of bad luck, my ass! What better way to screw up the life of a dumbass than by posting stupid bullshit with statements like ‘10 years of bad luck’, making them paranoid over something that will never happen! Piss off, you chain-letter sending cocks!

~ The ’sexist’ chain letter

No, there’s nothing wrong with the title of this section! I call them ’sexist’ chain letters because their shitty headings speak for themselves, example, ‘26 things a perfect guy would do for a girl’ and ‘What a girlfriend needs to know about their boyfriends’! These chain letters make me sick! It cannot be anymore obvious that these chain letters were made by a person to gain benefits from the opposite sex! Still a dumbass, and do not understand? Here’s an OBVIOUS example! A girl makes this shitty chain letter about 26 things a perfect guy would do for his girl, as an attempt to turn men into sissy ass wimps that wear G-strings and make up, carry a powder compact wherever they go, and sip tea from a testicle-sized cup with their pinky pointing to the sky!

Same goes for the guys! Some of these assless idiots make some stupid chain letter about what a girlfriend should know about their boyfriends. Assholes! These chain letters are desperate attempts for some sick guys to turn their girlfriends into their personal slaves. You disgusting pieces of shit deserve to be castrated!

These chain letters claim that if you repost them, your girlfriend/boyfriend will fall madly in love with you, which I can’t stress enough, is another steaming pile of rat shit. Right…. As if a person will be your girlfriend/boyfriend if he/she does not love you in the first place, dipshit! And if you do not repost it, then it’s back to the same ‘bad luck for many years’ cliche… Dammit, man! This is getting boring! Why can’t people think of something new?! Why is it always the same ‘bad luck’ bullshit?! Why couldn’t it be something like "if you don’t repost, your penis will shrivel up, drop off, makes funny noises, grow wings, and fly away"?! or for the girls, why couldn’t it be something like "If you don’t repost, your ass will deflate, your eyebrows drop off, your tongue become permanently numb, sticks out of your mouth 24/7, and points North"?! Dammit! If people continue to make stupid chain letters with the same ‘bad luck’ crap, gullible idiots might believe it for the first 100 times, but will soon(or maybe not, depending on their gullibility and unmeasurable stupidity) learn that these so called bad luck is not true! Why not come up with something new every now and then to fool these paranoid idiots? I mean, after all, they are stupid enough to believe in chain letters. They’ll believe anything you put in chain letters at least once!

OTHER BULLSHIT THAT PEOPLE POST

~ The ‘Repost if you believe’ posts

Found most commonly in the bulletin board, these posts are almost like chain letters, except that they do not have a bad part to the letter. These posts consist of a long, boring, made up story, and something at the end which tells you to repost the post if you believe in it, and to cherish the one you love, or some shit like that. The stories USUALLY tell about a guy and a girl who start off as normal friends, one of them being shy, they end up meeting each other, drinks salty coffee, talks a shit load of rubbish, start dating each other, guy gives girl useless bullshit gifts frequently, relationship lasts a few weeks or months, problems start emerging in the relationship, one of them gets run down by a truck or killed, the other starts crying for weeks, and finally noticing that the problems with the relationship was all in the head of the other person! There are other variations to these posts, but I’ll only talk about the most common ones. I’m sure many of you have read the story on ‘Salty Coffee’ and ‘Guy who gives girl dolls everyday till he get run down by a truck, and girl squeezes dolls to find that they tell about the guy’s true feelings’. Damn, man! Why must these stories all be the same? And why do people believe in stories like these?! Like usual, do they need the acknowledgement of others that they cherish and love their partners? what a waste of time… as if they themselves would not know that they cherish their partners until they repost crap!

~ The ‘How common is your name’ post

Another new edition to the bullshit posts family, this post is a list of names in alphabetical order, with stars (*) at the end of the name. Each star represents a person with the same name. Who the hell bothers with that kind of stuff anyway? Even better, who would take the trouble to count those damn stars? There are thousands of people on Earth with the same name, so what makes your name so special that you have to put it in some stupid post, that shows just how NOT rare your name is?! Unless your name is something unique, like ‘ass driller’ for instance, then don’t bother adding an extra star to your ‘all so common’ name. AND DON’T BITCH ABOUT MY NAME! I KNOW IT IS COMMON, JACKASS!

~ Surveys! The mother of all bullshit!

I’m sick of online surveys! They are stupid, shitty, and are a violation of a person’s privacy, and still people answer them! Refer to my past post on surveys to find out more about these stupid bullshit!

ONLINE SURVEYS ARE STUPID! BOYCOTT ONLINE SURVEYS!

CONCLUSION

I came up with 5 conclusion about people who create and believe in online unbelieveble bullshit!

1) They have no life.

2) They know nothing.

3) They think answering online surveys is productive!

4) They are too bored!

5) They think people bother reading their surveys!

There you have it! The key to why people believe in stupid bullshit!

Think that I have characterized some of you online bullshit loving pussies unfairly?! GOOD! Send me hate mail!