Bad rock performance? Shamed? Don’t know what to do? I have the solution!

That’s right! End your shame! It’s just one less breast sucking performer for the world to worry about!

~ Shitty rock performers have thought about ending their shame. But now, they want to end me ~

Damned idiots think they’re me!

I was sitting on my ass in front of my computer yesterday, chatting in a web forum (because I was bored). I was in a free board, where people can talk about anything at all. Well, when I joined the board, they were talking about stuff which they found funny, but were actually full of shit! I remember one sentence in the forum typed by a dumbass guy which goes "I burnt my eggs just now", and a bunch of other idiots started posting a whole bunch of "Haha"s and "Hehe"s! Firstly, what the guy said is not in the least funny! And secondly, if you laughed at that sentence, you deserve to be shot! How can these people be so bloody boring and lame?! Anyways, back to the point, I suggested that they read my friendster online journal, and I gave them the URL to my journal, and they read it.

The shittiest thing I did was to remain in the chatroom. Apparently, these bunch of idiots are too easily humoured. Right after they read my journal, they started posting fucked up stuff like "according to the isaac scale of ugliness ~HanSEmMAn^~ is rated 8.7", "His handicaped between the legs. LOL", and "Evrybodi! Behold my awesome magnetic powers!". They said a whole lot more of this crap, probably thinking that they can impress me with their knowledge of MY journal, by picking out the lines that I use! What’s even more, the other people in the chatroom all laughed at the bullshit lines which they stole from me. Assholes! I don’t even know where the hell they’re from, but if I did, I’d pay them each a visit, and plant my foot up their asses.

I put those lines in my online journal to humour people. And the way they say it, makes those lines no longer funny. I wouldn’t mind if they used it every now and then, but the rate they were going, it was almost constant! They have ruined the words in my journal! As if that isn’t bad enough, they start to think that they’re me. There was this one dipshit who claimed that everybody in the chatroom must address him as ‘Universal Champion’. There’s also this girl who went "hey Snowbabe. don send me anymore bullshit chainletters". What the hell?! Hey assholes! In case you people haven’t noticed, YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT ME! Don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? Take a look at this chart, you useless dicks!

See here, morons. It’s funny when I say those lines to spice up my articles. It is no longer funny when you bunch of talentless idiots use them in every single sentence in a bloody chatroom! Worst of all, when those are my sentences! I told them to stop using my sentences, as they were getting pathetic, ruining my lines and shit like that. Guess what they told me?! They said that those lines belonged to them now. Well, fuck you people!

Dirty ass lickers! Why the hell have they got to be that much of losers that they can’t think of their own lines? They remind me of those dumbasses who load the ears of others with the phrase "Walk down the right back alley of Sin City, and you can find anything" after watching the movie, Sin City. Useless gay faggots! These sick people probably goes home everyday, and talk perverse stuff to their mothers. Sick bastards! I hope they get their assholes clogged with teabags!

~ Dumb fucks still try to steal my lines ~

An exclusive interview with a friggin’ dumbass!

I recently had the opportunity to have an interview with Isaac. The leader of faggots!

                                  

Universal Champion: Firstly, I would like to thank you for taking your time off to attend this interview.

Isaac: No problem. Anything for a friend~

Universal Champion: Whoa! Hold it there, dipshit! I am not your friend! (I continue to give him the one-finger salute)

Isaac: There I go again. Thinking that people are my friends.

Universal Champion: Yeah, about that friend matter, nobody favours you, do they?

Isaac: My friends, family, and relatives favour me.

Universal Champion: Friends? You have NO friends, dammit! Anyways, most people have labeled you a ‘moron’. What is your word on this?

Isaac: I would like to emphasize the fact that I am not a moron.

Universal Champion: Then how the hell do you explain taking off your shirt in class when there are girls around?

Isaac: You’re right! I guess I am a moron! Good point there.

Universal Champion: Okay, about taking your shirt off in class at the presence of girls. Let me ask, assuming that you do think, what the hell were you thinking?!

Isaac: Well, since I was the food delivery boy, I guess everybody in class should have the pleasure of marveling at my body.

Universal Champion: I hate you!

Isaac: Haha!

Universal Champion: I’m not kidding, asshole!

Isaac: Oh~

Universal Champion: Now, about admitting yourself into the class 6B Kenanga. Let me ask you again. What the hell were you thinking?!

Isaac: What do you mean? 6B Kenanga is a good class. It has friendly people, good teachers, girls, and a nice paint job.

Universal Champion: BUT IT HAS YOU!!!

Isaac: Oh yeah! I guess I kinda ruined the name of the class. In fact, I think I ruin the names of every other class I’ve been in.

Universal Champion: Hell yeah!

Isaac: I wonder what I can do to make up for the classes I have ruined.

Universal Champion: For starters, how about jumping off a cliff.

Isaac: I can’t. I’m too much of a dumbass to know what is that.

Universal Champion: Well, rumours has it that you suck cock. Is that true?

Isaac: Yes.

Universal Champion: Thought so. How is it that you suck so much cock?

Isaac: Well, every morning when I wake up, I smear my face with semen and horse shit, which explains why I’m so full of shit (laughs). Next, I scrub my balls with sugar and salt, and place them under a neon lamp to make sure I don’t have any lumps.

Universal Champion: You could have spared me the details, you bitch! Anyways, speaking about being a cocksucker, you must be pretty lousy with the ladies.

Isaac: For the time being, I only have sex with porcupines. I don’t know what is it with women. Why won’t they accept a dumbass like me?

Universal Champion: Wow! You really are a cocksucker!

Isaac: Yup. That explains why I look so damn ugly and retarded.

Universal Champion: Okay, before I end this interview, I would like to thank you again for your time, and good luck in getting a girl in the future. No, wait! Choke and go to hell!

Isaac: Yeah, you’re welcome. It has been a pleasure meeting you. Hope to meet you again in the future.

Universal Champion: I hope not, dipshit! (I gave him a double one-finger salute before he leaves)

~ People agree. Isaac is the world’s greatest cocksucker~

I wonder if anybody will ever buy these books

This post is for humour purposes only! Do NOT take it seriously!

Just to humour some of you people out there, I’m gonna list out some book ideas that will never sell. So, here goes!

                                    

‘How to court your friend’s indirect relative in 3 easy steps’ by Azim

How very specific. 3 easy steps to courting your friend’s indirect relative. What next? Ways to court your enemies grandma?

                                 

‘1001 exotic paint cuisines’ by Jee Kui

Hungry, and in the mood for some fine dining? Here’s the book you need! 1001 ways to cook paint!Written by the world’s master paint chef himself!

                     

‘Fashion Annual. The latest trend in plastic bag hats’ by Shannon

Well, I don’t think I will have much to say if this book really were to be published. I doubt people will find plastic bags fashionable.

                              

‘How to look like a 100% idiot’ by Leon

AHAH! A book by me! Nobody will buy this book, because it’ll be one shitty piece. Just look at that stupid picture on the book. Just for the record, I DID NOT TAKE THAT PICTURE MYSELF! One of my friends (I will not expose his identity) snapped the shutter before I could even put on a proper smile. Thanks for the quick shot, Chang Hua!

                        

REMEMBER! THIS IS JUST A JOKE! IF YOU ARE TAKING THIS POST SERIOUSLY, THEN GO TO HELL!

~ Dumb morons still do not know the identity of the person who took my picture~