Here are my new year resolutions for the year 2006

                  

1) Study hard for my major examination at the end of the year.

2) Try to score something decent in the above mentioned bullshit examination.

3) Add more artwork to my account in deviantart.com. (Access deviantart.com by clicking HERE. My username is leon-constantine. Search for it if you wish, and stop asking me stupid questions on how to find it)

4) Start a concert.

5) Abolish Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day sucks ass!

6) Make jalapeno peppers and mustard the national food of the galaxy.

7) Impale more kids that come trick-or-treating at my doorstep on Halloween day.

Eat more hooligan jocks that happen to play grab cock around my neighbourhood.

9) Promote world peace.

10) Make samurais the national symbol of the galaxy. Samurais kick ass! I’m a samurai. Are you?

11) Eat as many animals as possible. Meat kicks mass portions of ass.

12) Write more satiristic bullshit about stupid chain e-mails, stupid articles, stupid people, stupid etc. in my site (The Best Online Journal In The Galaxy).

13) Turn St. John’s Institution into a bathroom.

14) Turn Victoria Institution into a fishpond.

15) Officially make mosquitoes and flies extinct.

16) Blow up the moon. No more romantic gazing at the moon for couples!

17) Blow up the sun. The weather is too damn fucking hot because of that ball of shit!

18) Park my car over plastic surgeons. It’s their damn fault that we can’t tell whether or not a person is natural (In other words, not plastic, moron).

19) Create the ultimate filter for the internet that will block stupid typing errors like people typing ‘u’ instead of ‘you’, stupid chain e-mails, mail from stupid people trying to make themselves look good by posting arguments which leads to nowhere in my site, as well as reformats the computer of those people that send stupid bullshit to me or the online community bulletin boards.

20) Get a girlfriend

                           
There you have it. My 2006 New Year’s resolutions. Hope for its success, why don’t you? and Happy New Year. Yes, you morons. Resolutions (1), (2), (3), and (20) are the only resolutions I actually give a shit about.

                              

~ Hundreds of guys are looking forward to me parking my car over plastic surgeons ever since they found out that their partners were born as men ~

Nothing tastes better than a couple of jock hooligans straight out of the oven

                      

I was sitting around at home the other day, staring at the floor, when I heard this disturbing noise outside. When I opened the window, I saw a group of jock hooligans (roughly twelve to fifteen of them) running around the road outside my house playing grab cock. They were making such an awful amount of noise, that I was flinging my fist in the air and yelling at them to return to the park a short distance away where they usually hung out. They ignored me, and continued with their homosexual antics. This went on for hours, and the noise they were making had caused me to be unable to concentrate in my task of floor staring. So I went out with my katana, and chased them. But, due to my terrible pace, they managed to run away. Even had time to throw a few stupid face gestures at me while I was gasping for air. I can’t let this happen again. Something serious has to be done.

                           

So that night, I set up some bear traps outside my house. I even took the effort to sharpen the teeth on the bear trap clamps, just to make sure anything caught in it wouldn’t be able to get away.

                           

The next day, I was sitting my ass around the house, eating satanic worshippers with the side of jalapeno peppers, when I heard a loud *CLANK* coming from outside. I went out, and was pleased with the sight. Two of those cock-grabbing, jock hooligans were caught in my bear traps, screaming for their Daddies. So I clubbed the both of them in the head with a 300 pound concrete pillar, dragged them into the house, threw them into the oven, and roasted them to a crispy golden brown. Ate them soon after. Yummy!

                  

These jock hooligans have been hanging around in the park near my house, sipping alcohol, racing in the middle of the night, and playing grab cock. After eating two of their beloved cock mates, you no longer see them hanging around there nowadays. Probably afraid that they might wind up as my next delicious meal.

                  

~Jock hooligans should know better than to mess around in my neighbourhood, keeping my stomach full in the process ~

Don’t give me that look, you morons!

                              

Well, since I don’t have a girlfriend to spend Christmas with, and I have all the time in the world, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish all the readers of my journal a very Merry Christmas. If you hear noises in your living room tonight, but you don’t have a fireplace anywhere in your house, call the cops. It’s NOT Santa Clause. Even if you do have a fireplace, call the cops anyways. Merry Christmas!

                           

~ Santa hates me for placing everybody in high alert on his presence ~

New stupid shit people send me

I really do not know how hard it is for someone to send me something intelligent for once. I just open up my inbox today, and I find FIVE stupid junk mail waiting for me. So, I start opening them one by one, just out of spite. Know what? I found the first four of them rather "interesting". Interesting, as in ‘I feel saddened that we all have a long way to go as society’ interesting. Here they are:

               

First junk mail recieved

From: RuthR <Oppyvnvywrk@yahoo.com>

Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 6:21 AM

To: "Postmaster" i_am_the_dragon87@hotmail.com>

Subject: female with cam..disconnected

                  

I have seen your photo  on line ….. you are sexy
I am glad we are close lets talk
put me on you msn…….my msn messenger is natalie1986msn

                        

(NOTE: The next part is a bunch of jumbled up letters and numbers which I have not the slightest idea what it’s for. But to be on the safe side, I didn’t bother approving the e-mail as ‘not junk’, fearing it might be a virus or some shit like that. In every subsequent e-mail, there’s also a bunch of jumbled up, hoe hum bullshit after the first paragraph. All of that jumbled up crap WILL BE OMITTED in the following e-mails)
               
r     o     3
Ejw Fqieofkxe Jgg Aiivh Yxmg
Igiywmqmbd Vmrfnjatcf
LvugysisocJjtYcrpmpo
MjemxHfooqkptRo
Yfmu
Ui
Tqftuqvy
                   
Sachi hope

                     

Second junk mail recieved

                      

From: KayFTeagan <Ohlbspdmjeiklssg@yahoo.com>

Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 6:31 PM

To: "Postmaster" i_am_the_dragon87@hotmail.com>

Subject: let do it

                   

I have seen your photo  on line ….. you are sexy
I am glad we are close lets talk
put me on you msn…….my msn messenger is natalie1986msn

                  

Kayla Tehya

                              

Now where have I seen this before?

                                 

Third junk mail recieved

                

From: TaniaNReshma  <Tnhkfjlnsule@yahoo.com>

Reply-To :

"MadisynLRenuka" <Tnhkfjlnsule@yahoo.com>

Sent :

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 12:22 AM

To :	"Postmaster" <i_am_the_dragon87@hotmail.com>

Subject :

where you from

                            

I have seen your photo  on line ….. you are sexy
I am glad we are close lets talk
put me on you msn…….my msn messenger is natalie1985msn

                  

Francesca Revati

                           

Shit, this is getting more and more familiar.

                            

Forth junk mail recieved

                     

From :

MimiPUrbana  <Qvvnimgqsfvo@yahoo.com>

Sent :

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 5:02 AM

To :	"Administrator" <i_am_the_dragon87@hotmail.com>

Subject :

hi hi hi

                              

I have seen your photo  on line ….. you are sexy
I am glad we are close lets talk
put me on you msn…….my msn messenger is natalie1985msn

                           

Minerva Uriah

                                 

Owh wait! I think I finally figured out where all this rubbish is coming from.

                     

After reading all those mails, I feel really flattered that one of them woke up as early as 5:02 in the morning to send me mail, and another at 6:21 AM *Sarcasm*. It’s not everyday that you recieve e-mails from doppelganger girls with different names, but with the same MSN Messenger response e-mail address. What puzzles me is the fact that this person went through so much trouble to create four seperate Yahoo e-mail accounts just to send out these crap. Way to go, moron!

             

What makes these mails crappier are the text. Firstly, she claims that me and her are close, and asks me to add her on MSN Messenger for a chat. Well, let’s see…. NO! I’m not adding her to my contacts list, and I’d be damned if I was going to try. Secondly, what girl calls a guy sexy? Seriously? I look sexy in my photos? That’s bullshit. You know what puzzles me? If this person could take the time to make four seperate e-mail accounts just to send me the same crap, why couldn’t she have just added my MSN Messenger account since she has my e-mail address? Why bother going through all that trouble when you can just add me to your contacts list immediately? Idiot.

                                 

Yes, I did say that I had five junk e-mails in my inbox. Here’s the fifth:

                                  

From :

Kyung Rey <reykyung@run-around.com>

Reply-To :

"Kyung Rey" <reykyung@run-around.com>

Sent :

Thursday, December 22, 2005 2:25 AM

To :	"Arlen Marshell" <i_am_the_dragon87@hotmail.com>

Subject :

Re: same fleer

                                  

GRA
itra
bien
LIUM
ax
idia
LIS
pecia
ma

$134.95 (30 pi
$165.95 (30)
$120.00 (30)
$161.45 (90 pi
$123.45 (30)
$99.95  (30)
$169.95 (30 pi
$139.95 (90)
$123.45 (90)

lls)

lls)

lls)

Love gestures that keep me awake at night

I have to admit the fact that I do have a sense of bitterness in me. Why? Because I hate people. Everywhere I go, there’ll be people there. Okay, maybe I DON’T hate all people. So, I’ll narrow it down to the couples. What is it with couples nowadays? Why can’t they just make their relationship simple by just holding hands, or sitting on park benches, or sipping tea while discussing about the finer details in life? These days, you see couples all over the place engaging in their public display of affection. I’m not that much of complaining about them holding hands and giving hugs. But, I’m targeting those that take their public display of affection to the next level. Think I’m not making any sense? Read on:

                      

~ Making out

This one really puzzles me. Why can’t couples just make out behind closed doors? Why do they have to do it in places that are jam packed with people? Is it more romantic that way? Does it make them outstanding? Here’s what they managed to prove:

A) that they love each other a lot.

B) that they have more guts than others to make out in public, compared to the other people who had no intention to make out in public.

C) that they are more lucky to have a partner, while others don’t; or

D) that they are morons.

Judging by the fact, I’m sticking with option (D). The next time a couple plans to make out, GET A ROOM, dammit! Or, if they can’t get a room, at least find a secluded area. Man, I hate people.

                                 

~ 9/99/999/9999/99999 roses gesture

Now, this one really keeps me awake at night. Why is it that whenever a guy gives roses to a girl, it’s always a number where all the digits are nines? Seriously, if you’re gonna get a girl some roses, I don’t find any reason not to add ONE more rose to make it an even number. If you’re gonna spend that much money on roses, one extra rose shouldn’t be a problem, right?

And what is it with those roses? A guy spends a few thousand bucks on a truck load of roses, only to end up in vases in a girls living room that lasts for only a few days before they wilt away, rot, and start smelling like crap. Partly the reason why some girls take pleasure in recieving a dozen roses. Not too little, and not too much. When I get a girlfriend, the only roses she’ll ever get from me are those which I will personally plant in her garden. And when I say I’m gonna personally plant roses in her garden, I really mean I’m going to just give her a dozen roses in a fancy packaging, which I will deliver to her doorstep personally, and not giving it in public.

You know what I think? Guys that give any amount of roses starting from 99 onwards deserve to be shot. The roses are going to rot in the end, and are going to stink up the place. Their excuse that it’s their sincerity is plainly bullshit. The only reason a guy would give that many roses to a girl clearly isn’t good. No guy will give hundreds/thousands of roses to a girl, unless he hopes that she’ll soften up to him and allow him to bone her. Way to go, you sick perverts. I’m not buying any of that sincerity crap.

                     

~ Sitting down on benches in shopping malls, while holding each other and doing a whole lot of nothing

Everytime I go to the mall, I would find couples sitting on benches, hugging each other, while staring into…… Well, I don’t even know where the hell they’re staring at. Why couldn’t they just order some coffee at some cafe, have themselves seated at one of the tables, and gaze into each others eyes (which happens to be far more romantic than staring into nothingness)? Of course, some of them will say "But Leon, we’re just showing one another how much we truly love each other". Look, if you two are going to show how much you two truly love each other, why not just get a couple of chairs at home, and stare at a wall? At least then, you’ll vacate a seat for someone who truly needs it. Don’t feed me that ’showing-one-another-how-much-we-love-each-other’ crap.

                              

I CAN’T GO ON! I’m going to go do something less painful, like stick my nuts in the blender.

               

There you have it. Three examples of the things that couples do which keeps me awake at night. I know not all couples are like that, but I’d be damned if I tried to be politically correct. What? You think I’m posting these bullshit because I’m just envious? Go figure.

                        

~ People think I’m not bitter enough ~

Anybody who tells me that they believe in Satan gets my foot up their asses

* This post MIGHT raise some questions and issues about religion and beliefs. I apologize in advance. I DID NOT intend to raise any questions or issues associated with religion and beliefs. I respect any and all PROPER HOLY religion that the people of the world follow.

Satanic worship is BULLSHIT, and anybody who practices it should be shot. You see somebody who is a fan of black metal and goes around claiming that satanic worship grants them various unknown, exotic, crappy powers? Kick that piece of shit in the crotch thrice, and tell him/her to shut the hell up. I’m sick and tired of people banging their heads to crappy black metal while trying to influence others to join their cause. Worshiping Satan is one of the stupidest things anybody could possibly do. Ever.

                  

Satan worshipers can only be described with one word. Cowardly. The whole lot of them are nothing but cowardly pussies who take the pathetic excuse to securing their position in the afterlife. Satan worshipers wear black all the time, act all depressed and shit, listen to bullshit black metal, worship Satan, and try to influence others into doing what they do. Why is it that they do all this? Because these idiots think that Satan would go easy on them in the afterlife and even praise them for being such devoted followers. Nice going, morons! New rule: NEVER trust Satan, you naive cocks.

                     

I was searching through Google.com for images, and I stumbled upon this interesting picture:

NOTE: I only added the one finger salute and the words in white. The original picture remains unchanged.

             

Hail Satan? Hell is the hot place to be? HELL NO! It’s time for you loyal satanic worshipers to get your head out of your asses and start thinking for yourselves! Worshiping Satan won’t do you any good, and it hasn’t done anything good for anybody. If you morons really feel like spending an eternity in hell being burned and flogged and be raped by llamas, gorillas and animated jalapeno peppers, then you’re a fool.

                  

Seriously, how can people be so stupid? There are 10 billion people on the face of this earth, and at least 9.999 billion (a rough estimate. Stop bitching) of them will do their best to stay clear of all this satanic crap. So what makes all these satanic worshipers so special?  That’s right! NOTHING! Satanic worship is bullshit! All these satanic worshipers make me want to take a shit. In fact, satanic worshipers give me diarrhea.

                        

Some of the other things that piss me off about all these bullshit satanic worship are the stupid rituals they perform. One of the most common rituals, which I’m sure at least three quarters of the people reading this post will know, is the sacrifice of a black sheep followed by the ruining of holy objects. BASTARDS! Another new rule: if you sacrifice animals for unholy rituals and destroy holy objects, you will be shot at close range. With a cannon. Humans have sacrificed animals for food or as an offering in some holy rituals, but these morons sacrifice a black sheep unnecessarily. Oh hell, they don’t even eat the thing after the sacrifice. I hate satanic worship. I would greatly approve if Satan worshipers died! The next time you see a satanic worshiper, Give him a hard kick in the ass! Oh, let’s just go crazy. Kick him/her in the ass as many times as you see necessary!

                        

To the people reading this post, if you HATE satanic worship just as much as I do, feel free to write your name in the comment section. Let’s put an end to this crap. I’m sick and tired of all this crap satanic worshipers are constantly shoving down people’s throats. Anybody with me on this?

                  

NOTE: People are gonna start asking me whether I believe if there’s really a hell, or whether Satan exists or not. Well, NO! I DON’T BELIEVE that there’s such an entity as Satan. And I DON’T BELIEVE in hell, either. But I DO BELIEVE that Satan worshipers are STUPID, and deserve to be shot.

                     

~ Hundreds of Satan worshipers have tried to corrupt my mind with their bullshit, and have subsequently got both my feet planted up their asses ~

Holy shit! My first hate mail!

Before this, I have posted bulletins on the friendster bulletin board everytime I updated this bullshit site of mine, and nobody gave a shit about it. And suddenly, I find this in the friendster bulletin board:

                  

Title: giler gempak rumah dhilah!

giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!
giler gempak rumah dhilah!

oh btw, ‘Shoot Me’, if u’re reading this, stop
advertising yr blog update. it’s got a bit too tedious
n freakin annoyin!!! i’d be surprised if any of yr
friends even bother reading em by now.

ps: ppl, just dont mind my attitude. i’ve had a really
hard day today and havent slept for 4 days now
(surprise surprise!). and Amin, i look more terrible
than the last time u saw me.
Barbican!!! I NEED BARBICAN!!!!!!!

Sender: nadIah
                  

Well, since she had a hard day and hasn’t slept in four days, I’ll go easy on her.

            

So, here’s the point I would like to point out. I DIDN’T FORCE you to read any part of this bullshit site of mine. In fact, I have not forced a single soul to read anything from this site. You claim that my site is getting tedious and annoying. And you’re telling me to stop advertising my blog. As if I would need to get your approval before posting any bulletins.

             

So, here’s an idea! The next time you see an advertisement of mine on the bulletin board, IGNORE it. I have just as much right to post my update announcements on the bulletin board as you do, posting multiple phrases of ‘giler gempak rumah dhilah!’. One more thing, DO NOT drag my friends and other readers of my site into this. They have their rights to visit my site, as much as you have to ignore it.

                

And please, do catch some sleep. You’re only making yourself look stupid, especially if you’re posting stuff like that on the bulletin board, telling people not to mind your attitude all because you’ve had a bad day.

                                    

NOTE: I never edited that bulletin. I copied it straight from the bulletin board, and pasted it in here. And secondly, DO NOT tell me not to post my site update posts on the bulletin board. It is clearly stated at the header ‘BLOG UPDATE’. If you’re still gonna click on it, DO NOT tell me that it was a tedious and annoying task to read my site, because it’s already clearly stated on the bulletin header.

                     

~ People think my site is full of shit, but still continue reading it anyways ~

Here’s how you can be the next Jay Chou

NOTE: If you are not Chinese, you might not understand this post.

I was recently in Hong Kong for a holiday when I noticed Jay Chou’s poster in front of a Levi’s store, promoting their new jeans. So, that got me thinking. So many people are crazy over him, and now he has this thing going with Levis so that other people would be able to dress like him? Well, I happen to be in a good mood, so I have made five simple steps for people to follow in order to become just like him. That way, fans will not only get to dress like him, but become him as well! Follow them. You might just become the next Jay Chou.

                   

1) Never smile

The main thing I’ve noticed about Jay Chou is that he almost NEVER smiles. It so happens that chicks dig him because of this. Says it makes him look cool. I have read from somewhere (can’t remember where, so don’t ask stupid questions) that Jay chou claims that he looks like an idiot if he smiles. So, in order to be like him, one must remember NOT to smile. And that doesn’t mean that you only don’t smile in your pictures, but DO NOT smile anywhere you go, at any specific time!

                           

2) Adjust the brightness of your pictures (for your posters) to hide any blemishes

That’s right! If you want people to dig you, you will have to hide any and all flaws that might appear. To do that, simply adjust the brightness of your pictures to hide any blemishes, pimples, etc. that appear. Either that, or simply edit your pictures using a photoshop programme. Either way, it does wonders.

                     

3) Don’t sing. Mumble!

That’s right, you heard me. Don’t sing out your words coherently. Mumble them. That’s what Jay does in most of his songs. And by saying ‘most of his songs’, I mean all. I have heard more coherent words been said from a child who doesn’t even know the alphabets yet. Without teeth. Mumble as much as you can if you ever hope of becoming him.

                            

4) Write bad poetry. Lot’s of it

Write poetry to depict your current mood. And make sure they are bad. The worse they are, the better. This trait, coupled with all that mumbling, will definately make the people scream and cheer fro you. Just to help you out, here’s a stanza which you can feel free to use.

Listen to me,

I am a Jay Chou wannabe,

I mumble and dance and pee,

And maybe,

Someday you will see me,

With my own CeeDee,

Hee Hee Hee.

*Write something along that line if you plan to sing (or mumble) in chinese

                      

5) Choose a proper pose for the cover of your CD

Choose a suitable album cover with a good pose (AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T SMILE). Give your album a kick ass name. Something like ‘November Choppin’, or ‘November Shittin’, or ‘Levis Jeans Superstar’, or something along that line. And do not forget to include your name somewhere on the CD cover. Once you are done, sell yourself out.

                     

There you have it. I wish you luck in becoming the next Jay Chou. If not, then go take a shit!

NOTE: If you plan on asking me if I like any of Jay Chou’s songs, the answer is yes, but only THREE of them. And even so, I don’t understand what the hell he is singing(mumbling) about.

                        

~ People didn’t know how easy it was to serve Jay Chou his ass on a plate ~

Seriously, don’t watch Zathura

I ran into a misfortune the other day by watching Zathura. It is a movie about two kids (Why must it be kids?! Why couldn’t it have been adults?!) who find some bullshit, made-in-china board game that sends them into space along with their house. It starts off with two ANNOYING kids who keep bugging the hell out of each other, and the elder sibling (I forgotten his damn name, and I don’t want to remember) sent the younger one to the basement, while he sits in front of the TV and watch sick animal porn. Later, the kid finds that dumb Zathura game under the stairs, and starts bugging his elder brother to play. But too bad mister big and shitty is too busy with his immoral act. So, the dumb little one plays the game, and their living room gets barraged with meteors.

                     

Well, I’m not complaining about the storyline that much, mainly because the plot and ideas are quite good. What disappointed me are the two main actors (mentioned above). Two annoying kids that piss and moan and scream at each other and annoys the audience and scream even more. there was this one scene at the beginning of the movie where the young one hit the old one on the face with a baseball. And when the old one gets up and starts chasing the young one around the house in order to give him one up the ass, you’ll hear the young one go "Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry" as he runs. And later in the movie, the little one is always complining to the old one that he’s too much of a pussy to play the game, with the same damn excuse: "No! I’m scared". Note that everytime he says it, it is in a tone that makes you want to strangle him. Believe me, I know. I hear many people complaining about it after the movie. I think I clearly made my point that the young one is the reason for a good movie turned shitty.

                  

I wouldn’t be writing this post about Zathura if there weren’t so much annoying kiddy screams and pisses in it. There is nothing more annoying than to go through a movie with two kids who scream at each other, as well as trying to act like innocent kids who don’t know shit, for a full three quarters of the show. It would be okay if there were only bits of screaming here and there. In fact, it might even be funny. But no, they make those two kids scream throughout the show, annoying 80% of its viewers in the process. All this from the same author of ‘Jumanji’?! The only screams you hear from kids in ‘Jumanji’ were those of the kids running away from danger. That, of course, is tolerable. Want to know who does most of the screaming in Zathura?

Jonah Bobo. Screamer and dipshit extrodinaire.

The only reason why I stayed till the end of the movie is to know what the full story is about. And like I said, the plot and storyline was good. But even so, apparently an idiot sitting behind me tries his best to stop me from enjoying it. How? By repeatedly kicking my seat through the whole movie. Even his girlfriend asked him to stop kicking, but not only is this guy stupid, he’s deaf too. Asshole! I hate him.

                     

~ People have watched Zathura just to prove that this post is wrong, only to be pissed off with the screaming themselves ~

                      

New bullshit chain e-mail on the Internet

It keeps me awake at night thinking. What idiot takes chain e-mails seriously? There are so many stupid chain e-mails on the internet, how much longer are people going to carry on believing them? Think about it. Wait, no. Don’t! The more you think about it, the more confused you get. It got me thinking even more. I thought that people couldn’t possible come up with more bullshit chain e-mails. WRONG! I find this in my inbox:

                         

SINCE U HAVE OPENED THIS U HAVE TO REPOST IT!..U HAVE 5 MINUTES TO REPOST
THIS!! ..IF YOU DONT U WILL BE SINGLE UNTIL UR 45 NO JOKE!!

PUT:
*Apple condom (IF UR TAKEN)
*Orange condom (IF U LIKE SUMONE)
*Banana condom (IF UR TALKIN TO SOMONE)
*Strawberry condom (IF UR SINGLE AND NOT LOOKING)
*Mango condom (IF UR SINGLE AND LOOKING)
*Blueberry condom (IF YOU’RE FUCKING HEARTBROKEN)
*Blackberry condom (IF YOU’RE EMOTIONALY FUCKED OVER ALL THE TIME)

PUT YOUR CONDOM IN THE HEADING THEN COPY, PASTE AND SEND IT

                   

This just keeps getting better and better *sarcasm*. First, they have e-mails that tell you that a kid will kill you if you don’t repost it. Now, you have e-mails that determine the course of your future love pathway if you don’t acknowledge others about the flavour of your condom. Now this seriously tops the moron list. If you think for one bloody moment that by not sending this chain e-mail, you will be cursed into singlehood until the day you turn 45, you are a damned moron. If this chain e-mail really were true, I’d rather remain single till I reach 45 than to associate myself with a condom.

                     

One more thing That I especially took notice about this chain e-mail is the excessive use of capital letters as well as the numerous grammatical errors in almost every sentence. About the errors with grammar, I can’t say much because almost every chain e-mail, bulletin post, online community user profiles, and personal web pages contain tonnes of grammatical errors because idiots think it is cool to write in abbreviations and personally making up spellings for words. As for the overdose of capital letters, i have a suggestion:

That’s the distance you have to move your pinky in order not to sound like a retard.

               

Now ain’t that a bitch? It is amazing that a no neck, low down guy like me knows better than to believe bullshit chain e-mails. Remember, chain e-mails are bullshit. You know what is worse than the people who make the chain e-mails? That’s right! The people who take them seriously. All these chain e-mail loving morons should form a new propaganda group under their belief known as chain e-mailisme. They will probably be spreading bullshit propaganda around the world about how chain e-mails are true, with crap about condom flavours being shoved up our asses until the day we die.

                        

~ DON’T copy, DON’T repost, and DON’T send me any stupid bullshit chain e-mails, or go to hell! ~