New chain mail that’ll probably keep me up at night

                           

Okay, here’s the deal. Short, sweet, and straight to the point. My friend sent me this e-mail (can’t remember when, so don’t ask) titled ‘15 things you probably never knew or thought about’. So, like any human being, I read it. like the title suggests, the e-mail contains 15 "facts" that people probably didn’t know or think about. So, I’m tired of ellaborating on this stuff, so here’s the 15 facts, along with my personal thoughts:

                        

1) At leasts 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

As if I’m going to believe this crap. I couldn’t even think of half a person who would love me so much to die for me.

                                        

2) At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

MIGHT be true. But until I can point out all 15 of them, this statement is bullshit.

                                    

3) The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

Put it in this sense: I HATE McDonalds! Does that mean I want to be just like Ronald McDonald?! Go to hell!

                                 

4) A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

I’ve smiled countless times before. I don’t need some e-mail to tell me something I ALREADY KNOW. That settles it! The title of this e-mail is VOID!

                                  

5) Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

Probably would be the smartest thing anybody could do, if they know what’s best for them.

                      

6) You mean the world to someone.

Two words! Bull’s nuts.

                           

7) If not for you, someone may not be living.

Well, if not for somebody, I may not be living as well. It’s good to think that someone is unwilling to end it all because of me. but I’m doubtful.

                         

You are special and unique.

YES!!!

                              

9) Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

So, someone whom I don’t even know exists loves me, eh? Is that significant to me?! I don’t even know the person exists, dammit!

                              

10) When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

Good! I’m going to make a big mistake by "accidentally" eating every last animal on earth to satisfy my hunger, and you tell me what good comes from it. Moron.

                              

11) When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

WRONG! the world turns its back on people all the time. Ever wonder why people use the phrase ’shit happens’?

                                          

12) When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

I’ve been hearing this same crap all along. And still, nothing ever comes of it. Not only to me, but to almost everyone. So, listen to me: Believe in yourself, and sooner or later, you’ll find that this phrase is bullshit.

                                    

13) Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget about the rude remarks.

I wish this were true to the people who read my site, and start complaining about it even though I NEVER FORCED THEM TO READ A SINGLE DAMN THING IN IT TO BEGIN WITH!

                              

14) Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

I told this girl how I felt about her. I told her that I have a crush on her. Guess what? I didn’t feel better! All I felt was sad and deprived! Give me a break!

                                 

15) If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Yes, I have some great friends, and I don’t need to take any time off for them to know what great friends they are. Why? Because they already know! If someone is a great friend of yours, they will know it without even needing you to open your mouth.

                                          

~ People probably never knew or thought of me ~

Valentine’s Day blows!

                                    

I hate cupid, and I hate Valentine’s Day! It is nothing but another bullshit excuse for businessmen to raise the price of roses, hearts, chocolates, and condoms. I’m serious.

                                 

Why do couples look forward to Valentine’s Day anyway? What makes that day so special? Does that day give them the freedom to hold hands, make out, and hug in public? Well, I have some very disappointing news for you retards.

                                       

COUPLES ALREADY DO HOLD HANDS, MAKE OUT, AND HUG IN PUBLIC EVEN WHEN IT’S NOT VALENTINE’S DAY!

                                       

Now isn’t that a bitch? Take a few minutes, and let that statement seep into your cranial region. You’ll finally notice that couples already engage in all of the above antics even when it is NOT Valentine’s Day. So, what’s hip and happening on this day? Owh, that’s right! NOTHING!

                        

Valentine’s Day wouldn’t piss me off (that much) if it wasn’t based on love. Why do people want to show their affection in public anyways? It only pisses off the people who are still single. And seriously, when couples make out in public, who cares how much they love one another? Is it significant for others? I doubt it.

                                    

FUN WITH FACTS: Girls have always been talking about how lucky they are to have such "magnificent" boyfriends, all because their boyfriends gave them a box of chocolates, together with a sweet poem for Valentine’s Day. What they don’t know is the guy’s true intention (and probably a whole lot more, but we can skip all the other details). Why the hell do you think some guys give excessive amounts of chocolates, and touchy poems to girls on Valentine’s Day? What girls don’t know is that chocolate is a light aphrodisiac, and when taken in certain amounts, puts a person on a high! DON’T ask me bullshit questions! It is scientifically proven. Do some research if you think I’m pulling this stuff out of my ass.

                     

And what about the sweet poem shit? It is also scientifically proven that girls get excited when a guy does mushy, lovey-dovey crap to her. What sort of mushy, lovey-dovey crap? Crap like reading stupid poems, playing with her hair, dedicating/singing a love song to her, whispering compliments to her, etc. These actions will excite the girl, and coupled with the chocolates, puts the girl on a high. Once again, do your own research if you think I’m bullshitting. Don’t expect me to spoon-feed every bit of these scientific knowledge to you retards.

                           

Now, why would a guy wanna put a girl on a high? I’m sure some of you smart ones already know what I’m trying to get at. But for the interest of the slow, I’ll let you know the point I’m getting to, so that you won’t feel left out on the topic. In short, I’m saying you’re stupid for not understanding the topic at hand. So, here’s the answer: A guy would put a girl on a high to satisfy his physical needs! Horny bastards.

                                        

As for cupid, he’s blind and full of shit! Because all he has been doing is match-making all the wrong couples! If i meet him, I’d behead him with the sharp edges of a broken heart, and eat him. Leave the match-making to someone with eyes (i.e. me). Stop tying up the girls with ugly, crusty, pseudo intellectuals! Cupid should be castrated, and his wings clipped! Owh hell! I’d dangle him off a cliff, hanging from his scrotum! Asshole!

                                        

I hate people!

                                       

~ People think I’m just jealous and bitter, and hope I choke ~