Here’s something you idiots could use

                            

Since I can’t add font colours and shit like that to this crappy site of mine, I decided to update this shitty thing without those colours anyway. I’ll make this introduction short and sweet. As the title suggests, this is a semi-complete guide for people who have a problem differentiating between the smart and the plain stupid. It’ll teach them how to identify and spot idiots in their everyday life. This guide will be of value to you if you happen to be one of them. In other words, you are a bloody idiot for not being able to tell the difference. Here goes, you retards:

                        

1) People who smoke openly in crowded restaurants/waiting rooms/buses/etc.

To begin with, it’s a common sight to see one or two retards smoking openly in crowded indoor places. I don’t know whether these morons think sucking fag is cool, or if that little stick gives them some sort of consecutive chain orgasm. All I know is that when it comes to handling these idiots, nothing short of a kick in the groin is sufficient, whether or not the smoker is male or female.

The problem with these idiots is that they can’t drag their ass off the seat to go to some place which is open and not crowded, before they start sucking on that ignitable penis. But they still suck it at their seat anyways, thinking that everybody enjoys a whiff of that carcienogenic, foul-smelling crap they blow out. And apparently, cigarettes can make you blind too. If you’re going to tell me that cigarettes can’t affect eyesight, QUIT BITCHING and let me finish what I was saying! Hey smokers! What the hell do you think this means?:

                               

2) People who having the last 3 strands of hair on their heads give them a sense of manly pride

I don’t even know how to begin answering to these kind of people. Having hair on top of your head is great and all, but what’s the point of having just three strands of it which you oil and comb so that those three strands are parallel, and point toward the same direction? It doesn’t make one look more manly, it doesn’t improve one’s appearances, but it does make one look like an idiot. If you’re balding to that extent, just shave of the rest of those strands. I wonder if they do the same to their pubic hair? Owh wait! That was too much. I apologize. But seriously, these people lokk like the type who would do just that.

                               

3) People who send stupid chain e-mails/chain SMS/surveys/dumbass e-mail newsletters about health packages/etc.

The only thing that’s more stupid than some of the shit you see all over the Internet are the idiots who send them. Who believes in crappy chain e-mails and SMS’s anyway? And honestly, who cares about those stupid health newsletters and surveys that keep flooding your junkmail folder. Everytime these stupid idiots send me one of these stupid bullshit, I usually cuss at them, hope they choke, and then I give my delete key some exercise. Seriously… No matter how much I block these idiot users from sending me bullshit, some of these crap gets through into my mail. But, it gives me great pleasure to announce that I only read an occasional one or two of all the chain e-mails and surveys and shit I receive. And I end up deleting everything after I’m done. Usually, after reading these crap, I would have to wash my eyes with industrial bleach to cleanse them off of all the bullshit I read or saw.

                           

4) People who write shitty reviews/commentaries/captions for all sorts of shitty things

I’m getting tired of writing this stupid thing, so I’ll give you something to do to justify this part of the guide. Flip open a newspaper, or surf the Internet. Look for something where people could write in. Read the stuff that people write in those sections.

SNORE!

Many things that people write into the newspapers and webpages nowadays are boring and shitty. Some of them try to make it sound funny, but it usually ends up as an ass wipe excuse of some chicken rectum chop suey. Seriously, if you’re going to write something, make sure it is either funny or serious or has a mood that suits readers, or don’t write it at all.

Note: If you’re going to say that this site of mine is classified under this section, do me a favour, and choke. I may write bullshit in this site, but at least it sounds more logical than the crap some idiots write into their webpages and newspapers.

                                 

5) People who think that working at a tourist hotspot gives them the right to talk out of their asses to the locals

Now, these people aren’t only idiots. They are fucking cocksuckers as well. I was walking around a tourist hotspot in town some time ago, and I stopped by at this stall to have a look at some stuff (For your information, I was looking at some plain silver rings, you bitches). The stall owner gave me that sort of shitty glare that says ‘pick your ring, pay up, leave, and stop wasting my time’. That would have been fine if I were to have stood there for an hour or more, but there was only one small problem. I JUST GOT THERE. And what do you know? Two tourists came up to the exact same stall to have a look at those rings. And what happens? Mr. Cock-For-Face transforms into Mr. Jovial-And-Loves-To-Kiss-Ass! He was so friendly toward the tourists, some kids might mistake him for that ‘high on pot’ mascot from McDonald’s. That bastard even offered discounts to them even before they spoke a word. Idiot.

Well, I decided to buy a ring anyways, holding back my urge to give him a stomping in the nuts. And guess what? He tried to over-charge me for it. What the fuck? So, I only get special priveledges if I’m a tourist? Hell no! Locals have just as much right as foreigners. Working at a tourist hotspot doesn’t give anybody the right to talk out of their asses. A lesson this idiot at the ring stall would soon learn, as me and the other two tourists walked off without buying anything, despite him loudly announcing the huge discounts he is willing to give the three of us. Owh, that’s too bad. No point trying to attract tourists to your shop if you are going to swindle the locals, right? Blowhard!  Here’s an idea. If you want to keep your customers, be friendly to them whether they are tourists or locals. And most definately, don’t ever try to swindle anyone if you’re really into doing bussiness. If not, you end up with:

A) No customers

B) Ruining the image of the many good salesmen at various tourist hotspots; and

C) Look and feel like an idiot.

                               

~ Idiots think this guide is a major help to them ~