This one goes out to all your crazy frog lovers

Okay, so here’s the deal. I was riding the LRT train (which stands for Light Rapid Transit, in case you’re an idiot who doesn’t know crap) the other day, when at one station, a fat man with the biggest tits I’ve ever seen, stepped into the train. the only problem is, the train is packed, and having a fat guy like him walk into the train didn’t help. But I’m not complaining about his body mass. Instead, I’m gonna complain about two things that ought to be wiped out from the face of this earth. They’ll come as this post progresses, so be patient, and keep your ass on the chair.

                        

Anyways, as I was saying, chunky guy walks in, stands in crowded train, heading towards destination. Well, couple of stations later, the dude’s phone rang, and guess what? Dings, Dangs, and Dongs were heard coming out of that pocket of his. If he were to have answered it quickly, it would have been a gift to everyone. But instead, he fumbled around for nearly 2 minutes, trying to get his hand into his pocket to grab the phone. Damn, that was annoying!

                         

Up to this point, if you think I’m complaining about the fat dude, think again. I’m complaining about this stupid Crazy Frog shit that everybody is listening to nowadays. What the hell is wrong with you people? As if listening to it isn’t enough, you people insert that dumbass music into your mobile phones, PDAs, computers, and just about anything else where foreign objects can be inserted into. The next person with their mobile set to Crazy Frog ringtone is going to need a hydraulic crane to pry the phone out of their ass! If I wanted my day filled with dumbass ding dongs and stupid shrieking techno crap, I’d go clubbing with hookers. Thanks to technology, all my favourite songs are drowned by bullshit that people dance to, because they think it makes them hip. Go to hell already, dammit!

                               

I can’t even figure out why people like Crazy Frog. If that kind of music is what people in the future will always listen to, I’d be the next Vincent Van Gogh, but with a slightly better twist. I’d cut off both my ears, instead of just one, like what Vincent did. Vincent Van Gogh’s paintings are kick ass, by the way. Back to the root topic, I sometimes wonder which idiot creates such a thing as Crazy Frog anyway? A blue coloured frog with no pants, and a big mouth with teeth is bad enough. but they decide to add a little extra to it. They give the ugly thing a little, clearly visible penis. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?! Owh, and just for the record, Crazy Frog music videos are aired on public television. So, what impression are people trying to give to little kids these days? That it is okay to go around with your private parts exposed, and make stupid noises everywhere you go? Answer me, dammit!

                     

Okay, now here comes the second thing to bitch about. I should have known better than to enter a train with McDonalds vinyls covering the entire carriage (the very same day I encountered the guy with the Crazy Frog ringtone). Why? Because the whole train is a bloody advertisement for McDonalds’ new products. After leaving every station, a woman’s voice comes over the PA system to inform passengers of the next station. After that, an advertisement played over it. A woman in the ad starts promoting McDonalds’ new recipe chicken foldover (by new recipe, they probably mean a recipe with more MSG, which probably makes it taste like my scrotum), and their brand new spicy beef foldover (which probably also tastes like my scrotum with some Tobasco sauce on it).

                        

BIG DEAL! So what if they have two new products?! Do they have to play things on the PA system that goes: "Please refrain from biting the chicken patty on the wall. There is a Mcdonalds just across the road in Amcorp Mall at the next stop!". Now look here. If you people running the McDonalds administration want to promote your new products, the least you could do is make it sound logical. Which idiot bites patties printed on the wallpaper?! If there really were a person who attempts to bite food printed on wallpapers, that person shouldn’t even be allowed on the train in the first place. Either that, or he/she should be quarantined in a nut house. And please, spare us all. If you people wanna air your ads, do it on the radio, and not in the train, playing at every stop! For everyones’ sake and sanity, dammit!

                            

I’m tired of all these bullshit from Crazy Frog, to McDonalds’ stupid ads, to dumbass techno Chicken Little dance music! I’m going to do something less annoying like saturate my scrotum with MSG and Tobasco sauce.

                        

~ Chicks are buying McDonalds’ new product just to get a feel of how my nut bag tastes like ~