WebMarshal has filtered out my site. Pussies…

             

Well, I had one or two complaints via e-mail previously, telling me that they can’t access my site because some bullshit web filter filtered out my site. I brushed it off, thinking "how bad can it be?". It can. I tried accessing my site from a cyber cafe recently, and the same stupid crap filtered out my site. Here’s what was displayed when I tried to access my site:

                              

Access to http://leon_ng.blogs.friendster.com/shattered_glass/ has been blocked by WebMarshal?/font>

                  

Text download (TEXT, 454590 bytes) was restricted by the text censor rule ‘Scan and block pornographic content’.

                           

~TextCensor Script ‘Pornography‘ triggered with total weighting of 21: Expression ‘disease OR medicine’ triggered 1 times, weighting -1

~ Expression ‘doctor OR surgeon OR surgery’ triggered 1 times, weighting -1 Expression ‘(breasts OR breast) AND NOT (cancer OR anatomy OR physiology)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~Expression ‘(cum OR cumm) FOLLOWEDBY=2 (all over OR on) FOLLOWEDBY=4 (face OR faces)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘(hot OR hottest) FOLLOWEDBY (chicks OR girls OR babes OR sex OR teens OR women OR ladies OR teen)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘(lesbian OR lesbians) AND (teen OR teens OR action OR nude OR nudes)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 1

~ Expression ‘(pussy OR pussies) AND (sex OR lesbian OR lesbians OR slut OR sluts)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 1

~ Expression ‘boner’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘cock‘ triggered 1 times, weighting 1

~ Expression ‘cock AND tits’ triggered 1 times, weighting 1

~ Expression ‘cock AND tits AND (nude OR sex)’ triggered 1 times, weighting 1

~ Expression ‘cum OR cumm’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘cunts’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘dildo’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘fuck’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2

~ Expression ‘fucking’ triggered 1 times, weighting 2 

                        

Contact your WebMarshal administrator if you need access to this site for business purposes. Your Logon: HH05 WebMarshal Server: CYBERCONSOLE (Version: 3.5.3.30)

                              

Normally, I wouldn’t be making such a big fuss about some bullshit close-minded company who came up with stupid web filters like this that blocks out words like ‘hot chick’ and ‘doctors, surgeons, and surgery’. But the only problem was, in that very cyber cafe itself, people were cussing away in the online games that they play, and I even noticed one faggot accessing a porn site (if you’re gonna ask me why I noticed it was a porn site, it’s because a pair of a girl’s enormous assets on a wide computer screen is very hard to miss).

                   

Okay, so what the hell is going on? Some bullshit programme filters out a site which is basically made up of some author writing bullshit during his free time, but it grants access to pictures of pornography as long as those words aren’t present? Hey, to all you assholes working for WebMarshal! If you’re going to clean up anything on the internet associated with bullshit or pornography, might I remind you that you missed a spot containing hundreds of thousands of porn, rape, SM, violence, man-slaughter, animal abuse, gay porn, and bukake sites. Great job!

                        

What truly amazes me is that WebMarshal described my site as ‘Pornographic’. It’s not pornographic, you fuckers! It’s SATIRE! There! A new word for you to add to you filter’s limited vocab! Morons.

                     

All those other expressions that were filtered out are also bullshit! Imagine if a college or university student needs to conduct a research on medicines and diseases, and he/she needs to obtain some material/info from the internet. But they don’t have a computer at home, so they need to rely on the cyber cafe to obtain the mentioned materials, but instead, they get screwed in the face with a text that tells them that the expression for medicene and diseases is not allowed. Well, guess what, you WebMarshal cocks. Your stupidity may cause people to fail their assignment. Fuck off already, dammit!

                              

They shouldn’t even be placing a ban on my site. Why? Because I don’t force people to pay in order to access my site. And because people don’t pay for it, that means they come to my site either on their own free will, curiosity, or just being plain bored and have nothing better to do and reading some of my articles to pass the time. I would like to emphasize that if people come on their own free will, they should be granted their freedom to access my site. But these assholes at WebMarshal think otherwise. Hey assholes! What are you people trying to do? Protect kids from being exposed to negative influence? Are you morons trying to remove all the negative bullshit from the world? How about negative influence from the media, all the celebrity break-ups and make-ups, and all those saucy make out scenes? Maybe you fuckers should put one of your filters into the media too! Owh, and while you’re at it, why not burn down all entertainment and pornographic magazines, books, comics, DVDs, VCDs, karaoke centres, hooker joints, red light districts, pubs, hospitals, and just about anywhere else that has any of the negative shit stated above. Go fuck yourselves already, you WebMarshal twits! But then again, that’s probably what they’re doing to pass the time.

                           

Well, I guess that with webMarshal on the job, parents can sleep easy knowing that millions of hardcore porn, rape, violence, incest, man-slaughter, and McDonalds websites pose little threat to their kids when compared to a guy that writes bullshit in his online journal. To all you people/animals working at WebMarshal, don’t worry about all those sites mentioned above which your filters happened to miss. Satire websites should be your main priority. Irresponsible parents that don’t give enough of a hit about their kids will thank you for it.

                     

Have a nice they, you pious fucks.

                            

~ WebMarshal’s filters are most likely to block out this article under the reason of ‘exposing the truth’ ~

Here’s a few reasons for you to cry during the movie ‘The Village’

                     

Now, before I watched the movie ‘The Village’ by M. Night Shyamalan, I’ve heard a few people telling me what a good and touching story (to the point where they teared in the eye) it is, and crap like that. Well, recently I got to watch the movie on DVD at my school, and WHAM!! Bullshit in my face. The funny thing is, I’ve seen more touching stories than that. So why cry over such a shitty story? Well, I thought about it, and came up with a list of reasons for people to cry during the movie. So here goes:

                        

1) You realized that you spent $10 to piss away 2 hours of your life watching some bullshit movie movie when the time can be spent doing something productive (like sleeping).

   

2) It came to you 20 minutes into the movie that M. Night Shyamalan raped you and all the other jackasses in the cinema out of $10 each, and he is enjoying a flourishing life while you walk out of the cinema feeling like an idiot.

         

3) You find out in the end that there are no monsters at all.

         

4) You used too much washing detergent to cleanse your eyes of the bullshit you just saw.

            

5) You remembered that you pissed away 2 hours of your life.

         

6) You realize that if 3 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 2 hours of their lives, a total of 6 million hours have been wasted. Now assuming an average person lives up to to 80 years, that is a total of 29200 days, or 700800 hours. 8 lives have been wasted watching this movie. M. Night Shyamalan has effectively murdered 8 people this way. (Not exactly a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw The Village in the first place)

         

7) You realize that the money used to produce the movie is enough to actually put an exact same village somewhere on earth for people to lead the same lifestyle as that which is depicted in the movie, and that you would have rather paid to go see the real thing.

                        

You know everybody will die someday, and seeing the main actor get stabbed in the belly, and the main retard falls into a deep hole and dies, puts your own impending doom into perspective.

                  

9) You realize that you don’t give enough of a shit about the people that live in a village and are not allowed to have anything red for fear of attracting non-existant monsters from the forest, the fugly female characters, and that you can’t get a refund for your ticket.

               

10) You are a friggin’ idiot for watching ‘The Village’, and you know it!

                            

Warning! This post contains spoilers!

                     

~ People regret watching this bullshit excuse of a show~