New bullshit chain mail
As the title suggests, I’ve come across a couple of junk chain e-mails which people post on the bulletin board. I wouldn’t be making such a big deal out of it if only one or two people posted it. But the thing is, I keep seeing different Friendster users posting this crap. It’s such a bloody pain in the ass! Reading these stupid bulletin posts is like being cum shot on the face with bullshit! Here they are: _______________________________________________________
Stupid chain mail #1
Title: Why sex hurts for girls
Message: Okay, so on the news
yesterday
there
was a girl
who
submitted a tape and it was a phone
conversation
between a girl and her boyfriend. This is
how is
went…
Amber: Ronny, are you gonna come over
tomorrow
to meet my mom? Like I said before, she
really
wants to meet you.
Ronny: Of course, honey. I know how
much this
means to you. When would you like me
to come
over?
Amber: How about 6-ish? Hey Ronny,
what’s that
tapping sound?
Ronny: What?! I don’t hear anything…
You’re
probably imagining things, sweetheart.
Amber: Quit joking around, Ronny!! Stop
making
that
noise. It’s getting louder!
Ronny: I don’t joke, you should know that
by
now… I
love you so much, and I would never lie
to you…
Amber: It’s starting to hurt my ears!!!!!
How can you
NOT hear that?! Hold on, there’s
someone at the
door… I’ll be right back! Don’t miss me
too much!
****She answers the door and sees Ronny
standing
there, holding a knife and a phone…
Ronny: Hey, honey… I’ve missed you…
****He slaughtered Amber and when her
parents
came at six the next day he killed them
too.
If you don’t repost this bulletin in two
hours, Amber
will crawl out from under your bed in your
sleep
and
murder you. The last thing you will see
are her
rotting
eyes and the phone…still in her hand
and repost
this
with the title "Why sex hurts for girls"
Great, so some idiot comes up with a stupid post with a stupid title, just for the pleasure of frightening the shit out of little girls. I can’t stand this type of stupid shit anymore! Why sex hurts for a girl? Look it up in online encyclopedias, dammit!
The thing that surprises me about this e-mail is the fact that the creator of this crap made it sound like the phone and the girl’s rotting eyes were of some significance. Well guess what?!
Well, assuming that this stupid s-mail (s-mail stands for shit mail, so stop telling me I made a typo error, you morons!) really is true, this Amber girl is going to get a real kick in the ass. Why? Because I don’t sleep on a bed. I sleep on a matress. I’d like to see her crawl her ass out from underneath that! One more thing, though. This stupid s-mail claims that if you don’t repost it in within 2 hours, Amber will crawl out from under your bed IN YOUR SLEEP and murder you, and the last thing you’ll see are her rotting eyes and the phone. Now, how exactly are you able to see her eyes and phone if you’re asleep in the first place? Minus the fact that the person who created this s-mail and the people dumb enough to repost it are morons, we can all safely assume that Amber will take the time to wake you up before murdering you.
Besides, what is she going to use to murder you? Because the last objects you see are her rotting eyes and phone, there is clearly no weapon like a knife or a gun. In other words, she’s going to club you to death with her phone. This Amber girl really has alot of free time in her hands, presumably that she’s already dead.
Amber, shut up and blow me, bitch!
_______________________________________________________
Stupid chain mail #2
You have 2 minutes to
repost
this!!….If
you don’t u
will be single until you’re 45.
No joke! . . . P u t . . .
Cherry- (if you’re taken by someone and love it)
Kiwi- (if you’re single & hate it)
Orange- (If you’re a stripper)
Banana- (if you’re confused)
Watermelon- (wish you can go back in time)
Apple- (if your single and loving it)
Grape-(if your a ninja)
Mango-(if your pregnant)
Strawberry- (if you want or like someone)
Star Fruit- (if youre so freaking awesome)
Durian - (if you’re single & ready to mingle)
Pear - (if you’re horny)
Melon- (if youre hating someone)
Don’t people have anything better to do anymore!? What does an orange have to do with being a stripper? What does a banana have to do with being confused? And what has mangoes got to do with being pregnant? ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!
I would just like to say that ninjas are bloody cool, and associating them to grapes is the same as associating Professor Stephen Hawkings to peanuts. Man, people should pay me to ruin other people’s e-mails. What’s so ninja about grapes anyway? Ninjas creep up at you from the dark, and *SLASH*! Your head comes off with a single clean swipe of the katana. Just a severed head, a body, and a pool of blood. Nothing more! What do grapes do? They get caught in your throat and choke you to death. Even worse, your face turns blue from the lack of oxygen when you die. THAT SUCKS!
One more fruit that caught my eye in the list is the pear. What do pears have to do with feeling horny? Look it up in the internet. Pears aren’t even aphrodesiacs. You know what pears are good for when you are feeling horny? Hammering your cock with it, till the pain seeps in and your cock becomes flacid. Damn, I hate people!
I don’t even want to talk about the stupid grammar in this s-mail. Actually, it has become quite common nowadays for people to use the word ‘your’ when they are trying to say ‘you are’. Idiots. I wonder why some people at the internet provider companies are working overtime to keep these idiots online. Internet provider companies should come up with a new idiot filter, where not only stupid idiots who can’t spell are not allowed on the internet, it automatically reformats their computer too. It is spelt ‘you’re’ when you are trying to say ‘you are’, as in "YOU’RE pissing me off by posting these stupid bullshit!".
_______________________________________________________
~ U ppl r relly pssing mi off wth ur stpidty, lck of cmmon sens, wrng spelings, n stpid grmmar! ~
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