Bullshit scam e-mail I’ve ignore for months, but thought it’s finally time to bring it up

                  

I’ve had this stupid e-mail in my inbox since August. i was gonna bitch about it, but I completely forgot until I stumbled upon it again when I was clearing bullshit from my inbox today. It goes as follows:

                

From: azzem yaro (e_yaro9@hotmail.fr)

Reply-to: azzem_yaro30000@yahoo.co.uk

Sent: Sunday, August 20, 2006 7:55AM

Subject: FROM THE DESK OF AZZEM YARO

                

FROM THE DESK OF AZZEM YARO.
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA

Dear friend,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise however,it’s just my urgent
need for a foreign partner that made me contact you for this transaction.
I am a banker by profession from ouagadougou-Burkina faso in west Africa and
currently holding the post of Foreign Remittance Manager in our bank,Bank of
Africa (BOA)Burkina Faso office .

I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds $8.6 million of
one of my bank deceased client who died in the sharter plane which crashed
on mount kenyan in the kenyan city of sumburu on 21st july,2003 to any
foreign account .

You can confirm the genuiness of the deceased death by clicking on this
website : LINK
Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared
between us in the ratio 60/40 if you agree to my business proposal.
Eagerly waiting for your response.

azzem_yaro30000@yahoo.co.uk

MR AZZEM YARO

_____________________________________________________

                  

What a crock! All I do is lounge my ass around, doing absolutely nothing, and suddenly, I get a bussiness proposal from some unknown asshole telling me that I could have a 40% share of $8.6 million? BULLSHIT! I don’t even know who the hell this guy is. Why would he want to share such a large sum of money with me? Owh, that’s right! The e-mail is a fucking scam.

               

You know, I find it funny how accurate these scammers potray their facts. Even funnier is the fact that there are dipshits out there who would actually fall for this kind of thing. One way or the other, both parties are morons. Feel free to click on the link listed in the e-mail. It is safe. I have already tried it. It’s a link to CNN’s website on the plane crash at the Mount Kenya. click on the link and read the news for a moment.

                

Done? As the news claim, 14 people died on the plane crash (may they rest in peace). The two main people highligted was the retired physician and his wife. Now here’s where the e-mail starts bleeding bullshit. The e-mail claims that the account belongs to ONE OF the deceased members on the plane. Well, it got me wondering. How many people own $8.6 million? It is stated later in the news that the eldest Brumley is the head of Emory University’s Department of Pediatrics, and later served as interim dean of the medical school. Even so, $8.6 million is a little TOO high, even for a dean. Conclusion? This e-mail is BULLSHIT!

                     

The last sentence in the news states: "These families have experienced a terrible loss, and words cannot describe their pain and grief."

            

Try understanding that sentence a little. Now ask yourself. If you had $8.6 million, and you could let anybody inherit the money if any misfortune were to fall on you, who would you give the money to? Your immediate family and relatives, or some unknown guy from some bank who would freely exploit your money by sharing it with another unknown guy from another continent at a 60/40 ratio? Damn… I rule!

               

Owh, I almost forgot. The family were from Atlanta. So how did their money end up in The Bank Of Africa? Answer me! And secondly, the incident happened in 2003. Why is it that I only receive this "bussiness proposal" 3 years later in 2006? I have just handed this "Azzem Yaro" guy a plate full of ass with all the cellulite. If that’s even his real name, of course. EVEN IF this e-mail were to be true, I would never want to inherit the money of the deceased. It’s just not right. Especially when it comes from a cheap, pompous son of a bitch who would manipulate and use the names and situations of the deceased for his own personal gain. Way to go, Azzem Yaro! I hope you choke! Don’t mess with the affairs of the deceased!

            

Before ending this stupid bullshit counterattack with a bang, click on the following link, and see for yourself what is officially written on the internet about this Azzem Yaro bullshit: LINK

                      

There you have it. Azzem Yaro! Feel free to go to hell! You’d probably like it there.

                        

~ People didn’t know how easy it was to hand "Azzem Yaro" his ass on a plate ~

New bullshit chain mail

                

Okay, so I was searching through the Friendster bulletin board, looking for something worthy of reading, when I noticed a number of posts entitled "10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER". Looking at such a big title, one might think that finally, people have come to their senses, and maybe even developed intelligence. So naturally, I opened it, and began to read it. Alas, I should have expected the big title to be a sugar-coated frosting on the top of a whole cake of bullshit. It goes like this:

                  

ONE

there is NO SUCH THING as a friendster
tracker.
it does NOT exist. so quit posting
stupid bulletins
like
"OH-EM-GEEEEE this WORKS!!!"
no, it doesnt.

TWO

To the people who have like 25,000
friends,
are you serious?
You’re stupid.
Go play in traffic.

THREE

Don’t ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I’m so ugly"
"OMG, I’m so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn’t post them.
And if u do ur a freaking NERD.

FOUR

Nobody cares about threats over the
internet.
Don’t try to act hardcore with the
keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the
special
olympics;
even if you win, you’re still retarded.

FIVE

Quit crying
b/c you’re not on someones top 8.
who cares?
ITS FRIENDSTER!!!
Stop naggin!!!

SIX

Who really cares if
I don’t accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don’t send me another request or
message asking
"what’s up with you not adding me?"
I don’t want you as a friend,
THATS WHATS UP!!!!

SEVEN

Little 6th graders who have Friendster
and look like sluts, and act like
whores
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.

EIGHT

If you have decided to read this,
you are a true friendster Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.

NINE

I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through
people’s brains

TEN

And if you open a bulletin and it says
something
like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost
will rape
your
dog
tonight,or some dead skinless girl is
gonna rape
your
mom"
…QUIT BEING A TOTAL GAY WAD!!

This is a test to see how many people
in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.

Repost this with..
"10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER"

____________________________________________________

                   

Take a minute for that crap to seep in.

                

Done? Good.

                        

Okay, so the deal is this. Some idiot comes up with a chain mail of his own in order to make a statement that it is alright to repost his chain mail, and it’s not okay to repost any other. WRONG! It is not okay to repost any of these stupid chain mails! So, here’s an analysis of each of the 10 things that idiots do on Friendster.

                         

ONE

Yes, of course there is no such thing as a tracker on Friendster. But then again, what does a tracker have to do with those bulletins with all the "this works" crock? That’s right! Absolutely nothing. Those chain mails with the "this works" ending are made to play with the minds of the weak. So why bother? The beginning and end of this statement has no connection anyway. In other words, the first statement of this chain mail is bullshit.

                           

TWO

Firstly, 25000 friends is an exaggeration, as the maximum friends allowed in one’s friends list is roughly 500 or less. Secondly, Why the hell do you think the site is called FRIENDSter. Owh, that’s right! The site is used for making new friends, as well as keeping in touch with old friends! So honestly, a person with many friends in his/her profile is really none of anybody’s business. Lastly, I happened to have checked out the profiles of the people who posted this chain mail. Guess what? Most of them have friends ranging from figures between 300 to 450. Who are the stupid ones now?

                           

THREE

Similar to number two, SOME of the people who posted this bulletin also had stupid captions on some of their pictures. And what does putting on some stupid captions about being fat and ugly have anything to do with being a nerd. Do they even know what a nerd is? Most likely not.

                  

FOUR

The only way to answer to this stupid crap is to send the people who posted this chain mail a message each, with something that goes as follows:

"You are an asshole, and I hope you choke!"

After that, just sit back, relax, and wait to see how far these people will go to uphold their self-righteousness, and not break what is stated in the 4th statement of this chain mail.

                              

FIVE

If I remember correctly, no idiot in their right mind will cry because they aren’t in another person’s top eight. Which reminds me. You CAN’T set the friends you want in your top eight list on Friendster, and the only way to do so is to post a bulletin or send a message stating who are your top eight friends. And besides, I haven’t heard of any cases of people nagging because they aren’t in another person’s top eight. Have you?

                

SIX

Anybody who thinks they are too good for anybody probably won’t have any real friends to begin with. Their "friends" are just there to either:

A) Tap those suckers off their money and belongings.

B) Humour themselves with how naive one can get by actually thinking that their "friends" are really friends.

or C) treat the person like a donkey, doing all the chores and dirty work for them in the name of being "friends".

Either way, they lose! Enough said!

                         

SEVEN

Sixth graders aren’t allowed in Friendster, because they don’t suit the minimum age requirement. And even if they fake their age to gain access to Friendster, who cares? This statement contradicts with the "IT’S FRIENDSTER" phrase in statement FIVE. It’s Friendster! If you don’t like little sixth graders dressed up like sluts, here’s a thought: DON’T VISIT THEIR PROFILES, AND DON’T ADD THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST, YOU MORONS!

Same goes to the people who visit my site and start complaining about how shitty it is. Here’s an idea! Don’t read anything else in it, and just click on that tiny little "X" at the upper right corner of your screen. Don’t come back over and over again, reading my articles on one hand, and on the other, complain about how bad and shitty it is.

                               

EIGHT

Real friends don’t need bulletins. Real friends talk to one another in person and on the phone, making the bulletin board obsolete. I think this point is clear enough.

                        

NINE

I find this really funny. The title says "10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER". And here, we have number eight stating that real friends read their friend’s bulletins, and number nine stating that people should pass this on. So that’s what idiots do. Way to go, you morons! I suggest reading and fully understanding the title of bulletins next time before you repost them.

                           

TEN

Ah, I see. Quit being a total gay wad… What?! What exactly the hell is a gay wad? Look, dumbass. For the benefit of the people who don’t have a telekinetic link to the chain mail creator’s brain, I suggest the people who created  this chain mail to do everyone a favour, and choke. Imbeciles.

                     

To top it all off, this chain mail claims itself to be a test to see how many people in your friends list pays attention to you. Judging by the fact that most of the people who reposted this chain mail has already broken about four to seven out of the ten rules on average, I’m beginning to wonder if people really do want to pay attention to a bulletin which contradicts the person’s behaviour. Unless every person who reposted this bulletin follow statements one to ten word by word, they have just made idiots of themselves by reposting this manipulative piece of crap. In other words,

Congratulations, morons! You have just fallen victim to your own self-righteousness by reposting this stupid chain mail, which contradicts your own behaviour. The creators of this chain mail have achieved what they have set out to do: To manipulate your weak minds, resulting in you being unable to tell what’s wrong or right in Friendster. I’m sure your real friends (if any) will be proud of you.

                      

And people wonder why I’m so bitter. Although this entire article can’t do justice as to why I’m so bitter, you would have roughly guessed by now, why I hate people. That’s right! Apparently, being computer savvy and being able to own an account on Friendster can’t bring some people common sense. I rule!

                              

~ People never knew what idiots they have become until they read my explanation for statement eight and nine, and now think I’m an asshole for breaking their ignorant self-righteous state of mind by exposing the truth behind the bullshit chain mail ~

Let’s give starved poets a real reason to be depressed

             

      

Starved poets. When things don’t go their way, they go around acting like tormented souls straight out of hell.

         

They make me wanna puke my guts out. What the hell is wrong with them? When they don’t get the people they want, they start looking all sad, pale, dirty, and tortured. They go around acting all depressed and shit like that. But the thing is, most starved poets aren’t really even depressed. They just go around pretending to be tormented in order to catch the attention of the person they are targeting. It’s times like these where the administration of a solid kick in the ass is necessary. But no, starved poets choose to go around dressed like drug addicts and stumbling about like drunks.

             

Here’s an idea! Why don’t you dipshits pull your heads out of your asses, and face the situation like what everybody else does? Perhaps then, that person might actually start noticing you for who you are! Acting starved poet never got anybody anywhere in the first place. In fact, if you ask people if they undersatnd the term "starved poet", many will say no, probably because it is an idiot term created by you losers who are quick to label yourselves as "starved poets" when relationships don’t go your way. Mind you, I have nothing against people being depressed. My point is that starved poets are full of shit for pretending to be depressed.

                  

What sickens me the most about starved poets are their constant abuse over their bodies and personal hygiene. Once again, what the hell is wrong with them? I’ve seen starved poets who eat too little to maintain their bodies physical requirements, drinking extremely little water, wear shitty rags which they call clothes, and my personal favourite, NOT BATHING OR WASHING THEIR HAIR FOR WEEKS! *BARF*

                           

I’m sick of starved poets. I suggest building a giant catapult, pack all the starved poets into it, and launching them into a large, solid slab of steel covered in nails. BAM! Au revoir, starved poets! Maybe then, starved poets would really have a reason to be depressed (provided they survive the ordeal). They all look so weak, even the launch itself would probably kill them.

                   

~ Starved poets who have visited this page has stopped pretending to be depressed, and has since gone to being really depressed ~

Just a few points I’d like to make

                     

Lately, I’ve given this matter much thought. And it turns out that in the modern day, it’s much better to be an animal than human. Why? Here’re the reasons:

               

~ Animals don’t have to study their asses off in order to enter university.

~ Animals don’t need to learn how to read or talk.

~ Animals don’t have to be interviewed in order to get a job. In fact, some animals don’t even need specific jobs.

~ Animals don’t have to sit for academic exams.

~ Animals get fed twice to three times a day. and you don’t need to money to buy it.

~ You get all the free steroids you want.

~ You get to mix around with good company.

~ There is no discrimination between animals.

~ Animals don’t rape one another.

~ Animals don’t kill for greed and hatred. Animals only kill to survive.

~ Animals don’t succumb to McDonalds’ bullshit propaganda.

~ Animals don’t swindle one another out of all they are worth.

~ Animals don’t need girlfriends/boyfriends. And they don’t fuck around for fun, while other animals look on in jealousy.

~ Animals don’t smoke or drink.

~ Animals don’t screw up, and then pass the buck to another animal. They take the responsibility like a man!

~ Animals get slaughtered at the prime of their age, so they don’t have to go through the suffering of old age, while their annoying kids treat them like shit.

~ Animals can take a shit anywhere they want, and nobody cares.

~ Animals don’t need clothing and accesories, and still look good.

~ Animals (especially female animals) don’t go shopping for hours, spend hell of alot of money, and come home with bags of things which they are only going to wear once, and then leave it in a dark, damp cupboard to collect dust and mould,  only to be taken out a few years later to be used as a rag or scrap cloth.

~ Animals don’t have to sit for SPM or STPM.

                     

You people get my point. Good luck to everybody sitting for the SPM and STPM exams.

                  

~ Animals have come to this page, only to leave because they can’t read ~

Look up the "Suzie says" section of Galaxie magazine for the fine print for "loud-mouthed hag"

                      

I was flipping through last month’s (or was it this month’s? I forgot) edition of Galaxie magazine, when I came across the "Suzie says" section. She was writing an article about the late Steve Irwin. The late Steve Irwin was fatally pierced through the heart by the barb of a stingray.

            

So what exactly did she write? Well, for starts, she insulted Steve Irwin’s profession as an environmentalist. As I remember, she has a caption which sounds something like this: "When you put yourself in situations by wrestling crocodiles, and pulling yourself out of a shark’s mouth, you are bound to meet this sort of end sooner or later."

This isn’t exactly what she said because I’m writing this out of memory, but it is along that line. This bitch doesn’t know shit because she hardly watches the "Crocodile Hunter" programmes, and yet, she writes shit just for the hell of it. Idiot! As she claims, she only watches the "Crocodile Hunter" programmes when there is nothing on TV, and she is busy flipping through channels. Unlike Steve Irwin, Suzie’s enthusiasm in her work only makes herself look like an idiot.

                     

As if writing the first 2 paragraphs isn’t bad enough already, she write more bullshit that Steve never did during his professional line of work. To summarize all the bullshit in her article into a simpler form, she’s making a joke and mockery of the achievements during Steve’s lifetime. Sometimes, I wonder how the idiots sitting their fat asses high up at the editorial board would approve of such an article on a public magazine!

               

As of that, I have taken the initiative to boycott Galaxie Magazine for the stupid shit that Suzie (Her name’s Suzie Tan, if I’m not wrong. It is written on the first page, under the staff list) has written. This isn’t the first time she’s wrote some crappy shit. The last article that pissed me off was the article she wrote about the movie, "King Kong". In fact, I’m not the only reader that got pissed off with the shit that Suzie writes. Under the letters section, people have sent in mail, complaining about the crap in the "Suzie says" section. But that isn’t of much effect, because Suzie is probably breastfeeding those assholes running the company, in order to be able to continue to write in her own idiot column.

            

The only agreeable part in the entire article is the last sentence, which says "R.I.P.". The second last sentence contradicts her article, when she said "We will miss you, Steve". Wrong! Everybody else will miss Steve except for her! Because if she really does miss Steve Irwin, she wouldn’t make a mockery of his life’s work! Steve Irwin rules! Suzie Tan doesn’t! The concept is that simple!

                  

To everybody else who has read the article Suzie wrote, and disagree with it, drop me a message, and tell me that I’m not alone on this. And while you are at it, considering boycotting Galaxie Magazine as well. Why? Not only because of the crap Suzie writes, but also because the old version of Galaxie Magazine is filled with cool stuff, while the newer versions are filled to the rim with BS. Enough said. $3 for each issue just to read bullshit is definately more than what people should pay.

                              

And if you people are going to compare my articles to Suzie’s articles, here’s something to sleep on. I DON’T charge people $3 to read each new article I post. People read it at their own will, and if they disagree, they send me hate mail or negative comments. After that, they can feel free to boycott my site, which is little of my concern, because it is free to read, and I don’t make a living out of this site anyways.

               

"You are not doing me a favour by reading the stuff on my site! I’m doing you a favour by writing them for you!" (Concentrate on these words)

                  

So, just to end this article, I admit that I have always been a big Steve Irwin fan, and his passing is of a great loss. And here’s a message to everyone else. Stop making those stupid stingray jokes! They are not funny, dammit! Steve Irwin, R.I.P!

                     

STEVE IRWIN! The man, The legend!

                      

~ Steve Irwin fans have started boycotting Galaxie magazines for Suzie’s retarded articles ~