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New bullshit chain mail

                

Okay, so I was searching through the Friendster bulletin board, looking for something worthy of reading, when I noticed a number of posts entitled "10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER". Looking at such a big title, one might think that finally, people have come to their senses, and maybe even developed intelligence. So naturally, I opened it, and began to read it. Alas, I should have expected the big title to be a sugar-coated frosting on the top of a whole cake of bullshit. It goes like this:

                  

ONE

there is NO SUCH THING as a friendster
tracker.
it does NOT exist. so quit posting
stupid bulletins
like
"OH-EM-GEEEEE this WORKS!!!"
no, it doesnt.

TWO

To the people who have like 25,000
friends,
are you serious?
You’re stupid.
Go play in traffic.

THREE

Don’t ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I’m so ugly"
"OMG, I’m so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn’t post them.
And if u do ur a freaking NERD.

FOUR

Nobody cares about threats over the
internet.
Don’t try to act hardcore with the
keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the
special
olympics;
even if you win, you’re still retarded.

FIVE

Quit crying
b/c you’re not on someones top 8.
who cares?
ITS FRIENDSTER!!!
Stop naggin!!!

SIX

Who really cares if
I don’t accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don’t send me another request or
message asking
"what’s up with you not adding me?"
I don’t want you as a friend,
THATS WHATS UP!!!!

SEVEN

Little 6th graders who have Friendster
and look like sluts, and act like
whores
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.

EIGHT

If you have decided to read this,
you are a true friendster Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.

NINE

I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through
people’s brains

TEN

And if you open a bulletin and it says
something
like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost
will rape
your
dog
tonight,or some dead skinless girl is
gonna rape
your
mom"
…QUIT BEING A TOTAL GAY WAD!!

This is a test to see how many people
in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.

Repost this with..
"10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER"

____________________________________________________

                   

Take a minute for that crap to seep in.

                

Done? Good.

                        

Okay, so the deal is this. Some idiot comes up with a chain mail of his own in order to make a statement that it is alright to repost his chain mail, and it’s not okay to repost any other. WRONG! It is not okay to repost any of these stupid chain mails! So, here’s an analysis of each of the 10 things that idiots do on Friendster.

                         

ONE

Yes, of course there is no such thing as a tracker on Friendster. But then again, what does a tracker have to do with those bulletins with all the "this works" crock? That’s right! Absolutely nothing. Those chain mails with the "this works" ending are made to play with the minds of the weak. So why bother? The beginning and end of this statement has no connection anyway. In other words, the first statement of this chain mail is bullshit.

                           

TWO

Firstly, 25000 friends is an exaggeration, as the maximum friends allowed in one’s friends list is roughly 500 or less. Secondly, Why the hell do you think the site is called FRIENDSter. Owh, that’s right! The site is used for making new friends, as well as keeping in touch with old friends! So honestly, a person with many friends in his/her profile is really none of anybody’s business. Lastly, I happened to have checked out the profiles of the people who posted this chain mail. Guess what? Most of them have friends ranging from figures between 300 to 450. Who are the stupid ones now?

                           

THREE

Similar to number two, SOME of the people who posted this bulletin also had stupid captions on some of their pictures. And what does putting on some stupid captions about being fat and ugly have anything to do with being a nerd. Do they even know what a nerd is? Most likely not.

                  

FOUR

The only way to answer to this stupid crap is to send the people who posted this chain mail a message each, with something that goes as follows:

"You are an asshole, and I hope you choke!"

After that, just sit back, relax, and wait to see how far these people will go to uphold their self-righteousness, and not break what is stated in the 4th statement of this chain mail.

                              

FIVE

If I remember correctly, no idiot in their right mind will cry because they aren’t in another person’s top eight. Which reminds me. You CAN’T set the friends you want in your top eight list on Friendster, and the only way to do so is to post a bulletin or send a message stating who are your top eight friends. And besides, I haven’t heard of any cases of people nagging because they aren’t in another person’s top eight. Have you?

                

SIX

Anybody who thinks they are too good for anybody probably won’t have any real friends to begin with. Their "friends" are just there to either:

A) Tap those suckers off their money and belongings.

B) Humour themselves with how naive one can get by actually thinking that their "friends" are really friends.

or C) treat the person like a donkey, doing all the chores and dirty work for them in the name of being "friends".

Either way, they lose! Enough said!

                         

SEVEN

Sixth graders aren’t allowed in Friendster, because they don’t suit the minimum age requirement. And even if they fake their age to gain access to Friendster, who cares? This statement contradicts with the "IT’S FRIENDSTER" phrase in statement FIVE. It’s Friendster! If you don’t like little sixth graders dressed up like sluts, here’s a thought: DON’T VISIT THEIR PROFILES, AND DON’T ADD THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST, YOU MORONS!

Same goes to the people who visit my site and start complaining about how shitty it is. Here’s an idea! Don’t read anything else in it, and just click on that tiny little "X" at the upper right corner of your screen. Don’t come back over and over again, reading my articles on one hand, and on the other, complain about how bad and shitty it is.

                               

EIGHT

Real friends don’t need bulletins. Real friends talk to one another in person and on the phone, making the bulletin board obsolete. I think this point is clear enough.

                        

NINE

I find this really funny. The title says "10 THINGS IDIOTS DO ON FRIENDSTER". And here, we have number eight stating that real friends read their friend’s bulletins, and number nine stating that people should pass this on. So that’s what idiots do. Way to go, you morons! I suggest reading and fully understanding the title of bulletins next time before you repost them.

                           

TEN

Ah, I see. Quit being a total gay wad… What?! What exactly the hell is a gay wad? Look, dumbass. For the benefit of the people who don’t have a telekinetic link to the chain mail creator’s brain, I suggest the people who created  this chain mail to do everyone a favour, and choke. Imbeciles.

                     

To top it all off, this chain mail claims itself to be a test to see how many people in your friends list pays attention to you. Judging by the fact that most of the people who reposted this chain mail has already broken about four to seven out of the ten rules on average, I’m beginning to wonder if people really do want to pay attention to a bulletin which contradicts the person’s behaviour. Unless every person who reposted this bulletin follow statements one to ten word by word, they have just made idiots of themselves by reposting this manipulative piece of crap. In other words,

Congratulations, morons! You have just fallen victim to your own self-righteousness by reposting this stupid chain mail, which contradicts your own behaviour. The creators of this chain mail have achieved what they have set out to do: To manipulate your weak minds, resulting in you being unable to tell what’s wrong or right in Friendster. I’m sure your real friends (if any) will be proud of you.

                      

And people wonder why I’m so bitter. Although this entire article can’t do justice as to why I’m so bitter, you would have roughly guessed by now, why I hate people. That’s right! Apparently, being computer savvy and being able to own an account on Friendster can’t bring some people common sense. I rule!

                              

~ People never knew what idiots they have become until they read my explanation for statement eight and nine, and now think I’m an asshole for breaking their ignorant self-righteous state of mind by exposing the truth behind the bullshit chain mail ~